The soft light in the room had no real origin. It flickered and moved as if from a candle but Jane couldn’t see it. The dimness created soft swaying shadows in the corners of her bedroom. Jane knew someone was there, moving in the shadows. With a rush the man was on top of her, straddling her, pinning her down on her bed. His grip was firm but gentle. She could smell him, feel the heat of him, but still couldn’t make out his face. The stubble from his face rubbed against her neck. He exhaled after kissing her neck sending a soft shudder down her whole body.
Her legs spread as the shadowy figure used it’s knees to brace itself. With one fluid motion the man was inside her, filling her. A melodic sound began to rise behind Jane’s heavy breathing. Still pinned she let herself give into the thrusts of the shadow. The annoying jingle rose in strength just as she felt herself reaching climax. “Don’t…” barely escaped her throat. But, it was too late. Jane’s eyes snapped open as she woke up alone in her bed. Her cellphone’s alarm blaring on the bed side table to her left.
Outside her apartment window, with her eyes barely open, Jane could tell it was one of those gloomy days where you just wanted to bury yourself in comforters and stay in bed.
“You’ve got to finish the Sherman event by today. Stop being lazy. Stop,” Jane thought to herself. Reluctantly, she showered, put on her favorite outfit – a casual long purple beach dress, picked up her laptop bag, and went to her favorite coffee shop. Which also happened to be right besides her apartment building. Luckily, it served great coffee as well as being conveniently located. Jane got her regular Dasani coffee, slid into a seat at a exterior patio table and opened her laptop. A scheduling program popped up and she started working on the guestlist for her art gallery opening, hoping that she wasn’t missing anyone important. Slowly, she had the strangest feeling that someone was observing her. The feeling of eyes on her grew as she tried to focus and type into her laptop. Taking her coffee cup with both hands she drank slowly and peeked over the top of the mug at the rest of the coffee shop patrons. She saw some business people picking up their morning black coffees, a mother pushing a twin stroller already looking exhausted, and a few college aged students engrossed in their own laptops. As Jane put her mug down she caught him. Sitting across from her at a separate table on the patio dressed in a simple gray suit, no tie, short dark hair and a bit of stubble, he locked eyes with her. He smirked but didn’t look away. Jane blushed and broke the locked gaze.
“I probably spilled coffee on my blouse or something,” she thought to herself, “Focus Jane! No way that guy would actually be interested in you. Get back to work.” Jane continued to work but everytime she went for a sip of her coffee she peeked to see the handsome stranger still checking her out. "Why does he seem familiar? Where would I have seen him? The gallery?" Getting more and more uncomfortable, she decided it was time to pack up and go back to her apartment. She had work to do and this feeling of being watched was distracting her. Any other day and she'd welcome the handsome man's gaze. As she opened the security door to her apartment a low voice came from behind. “Excuse me. But, may I know your name?” Jane turned around and saw the same attractive man from the coffee shop. Jane answered with her best effort to hide the rising excitement inside of her, “Jane. And you?” “Leo. I know its a little odd, but I didn't know if I'd ever see you again so I had to chase after you. I apologize if I startled you. You are just… Do you work at the art gallery on 3rd and Garrett?” "Oh, um, yes." "I knew it! I saw you there last week. When I noticed you at the coffee shop I felt like it was some sort of… I don't know. Serendiptious moment? I'm sorry if that sounds a little cheesy." Leo stood with the same smirk on his face waiting for Jane to say something, she finally gave in to his charming smile and stammered out, “Would you like to come in for… um, more coffee?” she asked. “I would like that very much”, He grinned. As she opened the door to her apartment, she felt the heat coming from his warm body behind her. Jane turned around and was about to say something. Before she could say anything, he sealed her lips with a kiss. His tongue found its way to hers, tickling and tangling in her mouth. He picked her up effortlessly and kicked the door closed behind them. Leo managed to find the sofa and throw her on it. . He slid down on top of her, splitting her legs apart and continued kissing her. “Um….um!!!” was all she could get out. She protested and pushed him away. “I don't even know you,” she said, still trying to catch her breath, her face blushing. “You know my name,” he said calmly. “I'm not sure… This is all happening too fast.” replied Jane. “But, I want you, you are beautiful. And I can tell you are interested in me too,” Leo said in a matter-of-fact tone. Before she can say another word, she was buried in another wet kiss, she felt his hand running from her neck and make its way to her lower back. He slid his hand up inside her top, unhooked her bra and started softly fondling her breast. His knees pressed gently on her crotch. The pleasure was so tempting and Jane's rational side caved in. She let him take off her top. “You have beautiful breasts,” he said as he licked at her nipples. Gently sucked and swirled and tickled both with his mouth. Not resting for a bit, his hands slided under her skirt and eased down her panties. His lips slowly moved away from her breast, down to her belly button, and even lower. “You shaved,” said Leo excitedly, his head now between her legs, “I like a woman who takes care of herself.” He softly kissed his way up her inner thigh, stopping at her now wet pussy. He licked her slit from the bottom to top, making sure she felt the roughness of his tongue. Her vulva now partially opened, ready for the excitement to come. He placed his mouth over her clitoris, constantly sucking. “Mm….Ah…Ah…” Jane could only moan. He started swirling her clitoris with his tongue while continuing to suck a little harder. “Ah!” Her hands now on his head, her legs clamping him, not wanting his mouth to leave. His tongue swirled her clitoris faster with her every moan. Finally, Jane shivered with ecstasy, her hips jolting in a forward and backward motion. “We are just getting started,” Leo grinned, petting her legs. “You are so sexy even when wet.” Leo took of his shirt to reveal a finely toned body. He unzipped and slipped out of his pants, leaving only a pair of very tightly fitted boxer briefs. Kissing her soft lips, he placed his index and middle fingertips on either side of her clitoris and slowly glided down to her vulva. Jane started breathing heavily as he placed his middle finger inside her. “Are you okay?” Leo asked gently. “Yes! YES!” Answered Jane. Pleased to hear that, Leo placed his index finger inside her as well and started twirling his fingers inside and out of her while stimulating her clitoris in a circular motion using his other hand. Unable to resist the surging feeling of pleasure, Jane climax once again. “Stop teasing me!” said Jane, still catching her breath. “Alright,” said Leo as he took out his rock hard cock and gently insert it into her dripping wet pussy. They both let out a moan. “You feel amazing. It’s so wet.” said Leo. “That would be your doing,” said Jane shyly with a red face. Leo slowly started thrusting, and Jane’s hips moved rhythmically with his every thrust, as if she wouldn’t accept anything less than all of him, as deep as he could go. “Ah… Ah!” Leo abruptly pulled out of her right before he came, cumming in streams across her stomach. He rolled over next to Jane after he’d finished. “Sorry, I made a mess… What were we talking about before this again?” Leo said. “So, do you like art?” Jane smiled.
Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/250c35/first_time_writing_appreciate_any_feedback_mf_no
Great! I’d like to read a longer piece from you :)
This is really good. I would suggest using fewer technical terms because they tend to make it sound a little more sciencey rather than hot, but other than that this is amazing, probably one of my favorite pieces.