Beginning scene of a fantasy erotica series I’ve been working on, would love feedback! [m/f]

Getin leaned his broom against the wooden barn wall and wiped the sweat from his brow. His messy brown hair was dripping wet and damp patches were quickly forming on the waist of his tan trousers. In the middle of the day the barn felt more like an oven and the sickly sweet smell of hay was overpowering. Though he tried to get all his indoor work done in the early morning, he found himself stuck sweeping up the mess left by the king’s guards once again.

He grabbed his threadbare shirt off the gate and wiped down his naturally muscular body. Working as a stable boy for most of his life never allowed for much accumulation of fat. Even though he’d had his left arm amputated above the elbow when he was young, Getin’s body had only ever known the hardships of manual labour. He felt a light breeze on his cooling skin and turned to check on the animals grazing in the fields beyond. The cattle were all snoozing quietly under the shade of a few trees and all seemed well. He turned his gaze to the town beyond and tried to make out individual buildings through the haze of the day. He was concentrating so much he didn’t hear the approach of two people behind him.

“Hey, boy!” a gruff voice roughly whispered from behind close enough Getin felt hot breath on his neck. He spun around to see San, one of the prince’s favourite guards. He was an aggressive man with a large purple scar running from the top of his nose across his right cheekbone, finally ending just below his earlobe, half of which was missing.

“I was speaking to you,” he hissed as he swept his greasy hair out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry sir,” Getin replied, hanging his head. His eyes caught a pair of bare feminine feet hiding behind San’s. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Aride, the a local whore.

“I’ll be needing the loft for a while,” San said as he flicked a bronze coin at Getin. He tried to quickly drop his shirt and catch it with his right hand, but the coin bounced off his bare shoulder and fell into a pile of hay to his side.

“Oh right, you’re the crippled stable boy. How useless,” San said and laughed as Aride giggled behind him. San closed the gap between them in one step, jabbing a finger into Getin’s ribs. “We aren’t to be disturbed, understand boy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” Aride climbed the ladder first as San peeked up her dress. He watched as she glided expertly up the ladder and disappeared into the darkness above. He reached down and gave his growing bulge a squeeze and followed quickly after.

Getin found a position at the corner of the barn where he could see the path leading from the castle. He knew the fields were empty behind him, except for the cattle, and here was where he would keep lookout whenever his loft was in use. The king’s guards and other servants would pay for his silence and discretion. He had never named a price and couldn’t remember how the arrangement had begun in the first place but over the years he had amassed quite a bit of wealth.

Despite his best efforts at ignoring them, he couldn’t help but overhear the couple upstairs. The giggles and grunts, sounds of clothes being shed onto the hay, it was enough to know what they were there to do. He felt a familiar tingling warmth stir his groin and within moments he had to adjust against his now tight trousers. Though downstairs, outside, and out of sight, Getin could hear the pair as if they were at his side.

Getin enjoyed the sounds Aride made during her visits in the loft. They were as rehearsed and repetitive as the church bell songs in the evening, but they did something to him. Her moans and dirty whispers evoked a primal urge in Getin that he never experienced when the other whores visited. He heard San’s instructions. “Lick it. Mmmm, look at me. Good.” Getin could resist no more. He looked around quickly to confirm he was alone then slid his right hand down the front of his trousers. He wrapped his calloused fingers around his hard cock and gave it a few strokes before pulling down his pants completely. The cool breeze felt amazing against his fully naked body.

The sounds of Aride’s mouth on San’s cock filled his senses. He closed his eyes, imagining her. In his mind she was on her knees before him, bright brown eyes looking up at him as her tongue slid up and down his shaft. He could hear her moan, muffled by the fullness of her mouth. Getin could almost feel her delicate hands on his dick and tried to ignore the coarseness of his own as he set into a rhythm. He imagined Aride gently stroking the base of his cock whilst swirling her tongue around the sensitive underside. She gently dipped her tongue into the tip, pulling back and looking up, a glimmering strand of precum hanging between them. He had seen her do this a number of times and the sight always sent shivers through his body. Getin was dangerously close to orgasm when the rhythm stopped. He suddenly heard her gag, sputter and cough and San gave an unintelligible grunt.

“How dare you!” he yelled, slapping Aride who fell with a whimper. Getin’s eyes snapped open. He moved to pull up his pants and fly up the ladder to her rescue. At once he heard Aride apologizing, “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to. It’s just that yours is the biggest I’ve ever had, sir. Please, allow me to continue.”

“Well that’s a damned lie,” San laughed. He seemed calmer and Getin hesitated.

“Please,” she begged.

“Oh get away from there. I have a better idea for you.”

Getin heard a thump on the floor as Aride let out a surprised grunt. He held his unfastened pants up around his waist as he snuck back into the barn, wanting to make sure she was alright but afraid to evoke San’s anger. Looking through the cracks on the floor boards he could just make out the sight of Aride on her hands and knees, San standing behind her slowly rubbing his dick with both hands. She seemed fine and Getin didn’t want to chance getting caught, so he slipped back out the door and returned to his hiding spot.

Just as he was pulling his trousers down the couple upstairs simultaneously moaned. “You’re damned tight for a whore,” San grunted.

Getin in was already quite close from earlier and he felt an urgency to finish soon. Imagining Aride bent over in front of him, her long hair stuck to her sweaty arching back as he pushed inside her tight pussy. In his mind he leaned forward enough to lightly cup her left breast, rippling with every violent thrust. He timed the strokes of his hand with her lust filled grunts and it was more than enough to send him over the edge. He felt his balls tighten and he tried desperately to stay silent as he spurted on the tall grasses in front of his feet. He threw his head back in ecstasy, a vision of Aride’s naked body lingering as the spasms in his cock ceased.

He felt instant shame for not being able to control his impulse. He quickly squeezed the last drops of cum from the tip of his still hard dick and fastened his trousers. Moving around the perimeter of the barn to the opposite side he checked on the still sleeping cattle. He leaned against the wall and allowed his heart rate to slow, casually wondering why he always had full use of his left arm whenever he fantasized or dreamt. Before long he heard San finish with a groan and the two scurry down the ladder and back to the castle. With a sigh, Getin returned to his broom and resumed working. ~~ As usual, Getin was having a difficult time sleeping. He rolled over, the fresh hay rustling beneath the blanket he lay on, and gazed out the open window. The gentle grunts and sniffs from the animals below were comforting in the darkness. It was a warm night and he had chosen the smells of the barn over the smells that normally came from his roommate Farroh.

The sky was pitch black, an overwhelming yet comforting void that filled the world above him. A bright light went streaking through the sky, arcing beautifully from the horizon on the left to the right. A glowing blue light chased the first, then a red and an orange. Getin shifted up onto his elbows to get a better look.

“Hepit and Anshar are having some fun tonight,” he whispered into the darkness. The sky became a swirl of colors, some streaks so bright the ground below was illuminated by the colored light. Getin had only seen Hepit’s Lights once when he was a young boy but many of the tales he grew up hearing contained them. Old women, wise men, and priests all claimed they meant different things. One said pestilence, another said good fortune. He just believed it was something the gods did to entertain themselves.

As Getin was watching the light dance across the water of a distant river, his eyes caught a moving shadow thirty feet away from the barn, down the slope. He focused on the spot where he thought he had seen movement, waiting for the lights to come streaking by again. After a few heartbeats he spotted a person moving from the forest towards the town. Although the figure moved with a drawn hood over their head, the mess of flowing blonde hair cascading from within indicated it was a woman.

He watched as she paused in the clearing, holding her hand up behind her to the forest she had just emerged from. The lights were coming faster now, blue, white, green, and her hair flashed with each color. She gestured with her hand and out of the forest emerged five young naked women. They moved slowly and weren’t cautiously looking around themselves as the cloaked woman was. The blonde woman hurried the group down the slope, hugging the perimeter of the dark forest.

This is really odd, Getin thought. Where are they all coming from? Where the hell are they going?

Getin strained as far as he could out the window until the strange group was completely out of sight. He remained vigilant for as long as he could, scanning for movement or more strange, naked people but he soon became weary. He repeated a small prayer Daem had taught him as a boy and as the evening’s show faded, his eyes grew heavy and he fell asleep.

Source: reddit.com/r/Erotica/comments/21byqt/beginning_scene_of_a_fantasy_erotica_series_ive