I was 19 and going to the nearby community college. Towards the end of my first year there, I had succeeded at firmly establishing myself in a friend group of about a dozen guys. What none of them knew yet though, is that I am gay.
One fateful day in May, Adian, whom I was the closest to, went with Hernan and me to Hernan’s apartment. It was afternoon. Hernan’s roommates weren’t there. We hung out in the living room.
I was playing Sonic Advance on my Gameboy Advance, saving rings to get myself a garnet Chao. Those creatures are adorable. I was sitting on a sofa chair. Hernan pulled out a porn magazine and he and Adian were flipping through the pages, while they sat on the sofa to my left. Hernan was a bit of a jock. Both him and Adian knew each other from football. But Hernan was a real meathead, whereas Adian seemed to be more attuned with his emotions. That’s why we got along so well. I had had some conversations about girls with him and he opened up to me about some of his insecurities. It attracted me. I felt an emotional connection I had never experienced with a man before.