Diana had written a note, in block letters to avoid handwriting analysis. It said “YOUR GENDER CURSE IS IMPRESSIVE. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE CURSE OF THE WHITE MAN FROM TOWN?” and was apparently a reference to a book I hadn’t read. This, she said, would be copied and slipped into every mailslot and under every door in the trailer park tonight, under cover of darkness, because apparently she was a ninja and could just do things like that.
“Tomorrow morning, they’ll all find the notes. Shortly after that, some friends of mine will show up.”
“What friends?” I asked, handing back the note.
“Oh, you know, the usual… Social Services, Health and Safety inspectors, tax auditors, maybe some police on a drug tip. It really depends on how many calls the two of us get done this afternoon.
“The two of you? What about me?”
Katlyn shook her head. “You’re done, for now,” she said, patting my hand. “You need to leave this part to us.”
“Yes,” Diana agreed. “In fact, you need to be very publicly not involved in any of this. Visible, noticeable. You need a solid alibi, because the tip-offs are the legal part of this. the breaking and entering, destruction of property, and light arson aren’t.”
“Arson??”
“Depends how we feel. You said they had a lot of cars. Maybe the tires get slashed, maybe the interiors get torched. Who knows? The important part is that you can’t be proven to be involved. Chris is going to call you. Go out with him.”
“How do you know he’s going to-”
“Shawn,” Diana said, cutting me off, “I know that you weren’t into love and commitment, but Chris is. He’s falling for you, and you just gave him your virginity. That’s pretty goddamn special, and the fact he isn’t calling right now is probably only because his friends are with him at this exact moment taking away his phone and telling him not to seem too needy.”
“Does nobody just deal with relationships themselves?” I asked, trying to imagine our scene with the genders reversed.
Katlyn scoffed. “Only jerks like you used to be, hun. Whatever you decide to do, you’re not that guy anymore. But you can be a better guy. Or a better girl. It’s up to you. Just give us the go-ahead, and we’ll do the rest.”
i looked from one woman to the other, then down at my hands. “Alright,” I said. “Do it. Even if it doesn’t work, I’ll have the satisfaction of seeing them regret messing with me.”
“Messing with us,” Katlyn corrected me.
Diana grinned. “This is gonna be fun.” Read more »