My back ached from the pain of lifting boxes over and over again. It was a never ending job working in grocery on a truck day. My boyfriend C patting my back as if to tell me it’s almost over. A sweet gesture but always poorly timed as his phone rang alarming him that his shift was over. 2 more hours for me. C kisses me on the cheek and tells me to have a good day. The back doors swing open and before C leaves he high-fives R who just started his shift. I never understood their friendship, Cs loud and I read him like a book the moment I met him but R- hes quiet and mysterious. Its interesting because its like nobody knows him. Seems like he likes it that way. I must’ve been thinking a bit too long when R touches me on my shoulder and says “he just left you already miss him?” He joked. “Haha yea” I yelled, having been caught off guard by how much I enjoyed his touch. So soft, gentle. This is our first time interacting without C there. I figured it would be silent and awkward but it felt different. R grabbed a rail “come on let’s take this before they make us unload the rest” I had forgotten the other two people went on a 15 min break until they walked through the door. They don’t really talk so it was hard to notice they were gone. R looked at me as he pulled the rail. It sent shivers down my spine. Why is he looking at me that way. Maybe I’m overthinking it. He turns back around and makes his way to aisle 12. I remembered he always chose this aisle first. Maybe it was because less people to deal with, or maybe- yep my exact thought happened in real life. His head turned downwards as a phone screen lit up his face, his thumbs moving so quickly. Who is he texting. Why did I want it to be me. He catches me looking and smiles “if you want my snap, just ask” holy shit can he read my fucking mind. I stare at him blankly and before I can say anything he grabs a box of baby diapers “relax I was just kidding”. He said it differently and his expression looked a bit hurt before be turned and walked to aisle 10. Great I fucked that up. I start stocking the shelves and it feels like hours and he still hasn’t returned. Where is he?. I pushed the thought out of my mind and pulled the empty rail to the backroom. Beep. That annoying ring was relieving to hear. I packed up my tiny black book bag and headed out. I checked my phone, 2 texts from C❤️, I’ll answer them later. I went home and took a shower. The warm water running down my body. His fingertips. The thought came out of nowhere but it was uncontrollable. The rush I got from his touch was like warm water caressing every single part of you. It was so warm and comforting you wanted more. That’s what I wanted, I wanted more of him. Give him more reasons to touch you. Any reason. I couldn’t think of any. I turned the water off and wrapped around a towel. The steam from the shower causing my overanlayzing head to get dizzy. I headed to my bedroom. A half of a shared basement, the depressing walls covered with cherished memories. I sat down on my queen sized bed and gaze into the conveniently placed mirror. I let the towel down. I wonder what R would think. A wave of shame and guilt come over me. I feel disgusting looking at another man that way. I try to blame the lustfulness on my exhaustion, getting dressed I convince myself im just tired. I need some rest before tomorrow’s shift anyway. I turn on my netflix comedies and drift off to bed.