Last time I wrote, I was convinced I was addicted to the practice of deepthroat with my sexy friend. The need to indulge myself in him felt overpowering at times. I realized this week that the stress and frenzy of the holidays could be contributing to my addictive behavior and feelings.
In his profession, Deep is busiest at work during the holidays and simply wasn’t available at my whims for regular sessions. It sucked for me, but it gave me time to deal with and work out my true feelings and reflect on the past year, and make goals for the new year.
I don’t think I have been both sober and single during the holidays since I was in high school. Regular life sortof pauses during the holidays and things are just different. Because of my new (better) habits I developed for 2022, I don’t really have friends to eat, drink, and be merry with anymore. I have distanced myself from those kind of friends. The only regular social interaction I have is weekly with my therapist and with Deep.