Names and some details changed for anonymity but the good bits are all true.
A few years ago I was working in as a tutor for a university geology department. I am British and it was for a British university. In the summer we ran courses where students would go out to the countryside to learn field techniques – surveying, illustration, that sort of thing. We all stayed in tents on a big campsite, near a tiny village and not much else.
Essie was impossible to miss. She was Honduran-British: 20 years old, petite, dark skin and hair, and an incredibly loud, posh accent. She had a lot of family money. Essie decided from minute one that she wanted me. On paper this was a good thing, right? Hot girl, check. Single, check. Making eyes, check. There was one hitch: she was so annoying I couldn’t be near her for more than five minutes.