I have to say first, and I realise this may not be a commonly shared opinion amongst readers of this month’s contest, I’ve always hated fancy dress parties. Personally, I feel they’re the most contrived ‘forced fun’ thing going: just not for me. Still, a group of university friends used to have them regularly. No exaggeration, it was every month or two. It got so frequent that they briefly went through a letters theme. The first party required costumes linked to ‘A’, the next party was ‘B’ and so on. It was at the ‘B’ party this happened. As much as I hated them, my fear of missing out was generally greater so I’d inevitably find myself in attendance.
Something else to get out of the way now: I went as ‘Black’. To set your mind at ease, this simply consisted of a one-piece black morph suit. A friend also planning to attend had a number of morph suits (from a video project he was working on). He went as ‘Blue’ and I went as ‘Black’. They were unused, before anyone asks. Though I’d seen people wear them before and wondered about logistics, I’d not quite anticipated exactly how clingy it would be. I thanked my lucky stars that the Black suit was the only one of the two that vaguely fit me, as it at least had the advantage of masking some of the less flattering parts of my physique, not least the bulge that protruded worryingly far even when I was totally flaccid.