This story is loosely based on something that happened many years ago when I was younger, more naive, and about a stone lighter (not that I’ve ever been skinny!) I’ve embelished it, changed a few details and names. I’ve also left out some boring bits. Oh and please don’t use moisturizer as lube.
As so many of my stories start, this took place when I was at uni, me and a couple of friends had had a couple (OK quite a lot) of drinks after helping my bestfriend Ann move into her new place. It was your typical student house. Plain white walls, a mysterious stain on the ceiling just to the left of the ikea paper lampshade, badly laid wood print lino, that same tired wipe clean couch that sticks to your skin and seems to live on every student house. Add to that a pile of moving boxes, a lot of empty drinks bottles & four students piled on that sofa with me sat on the floor slowly turning bright red as my best friend starts telling her course mates about the butt plug she persuaded me to buy…