I daydream that I’m on trial, a group of women staring at me with a look of their decided disgust. The first woman, a tall, long-legged, blonde bombshell struts down towards the stand. When asked about her encounter, she states that she was the first person to ever be objectified by me.
“He was only young, sitting in the passenger’s seat of a car at a stoplight. When I had to cross the road, he looked me up and down. He stared at my legs and my ass the whole time they were stopped. But even worse, was what he imagined me doing while I was just crossing the road. They were things I would never do; I didn’t know boys thought of such things, especially that young.”
The judge, a woman, looked at me and asked, “So do you plead the 5th again?” Of course, I did, but it didn’t matter. See, with me, I’m the first lucky person to have an anti-superpower. Do you know how you feel a little guilty when you stare at a woman, or try and make a double take? You imagine them noticing and thinking you’re disgusting for being such a pervert. Well, I’m not sure about the details, but when I hit puberty women were able to tell whenever I thought about them.