This is my first story of this sort, and one of my first fiction works, for that matter. I haven’t gotten far into it, and was looking for some critique on what I’ve written so far. What I’ve written at this point is ecchi at best, and I promise as it goes on, it’s gonna get a lot more dirty.
This is meant as a setup to the story, before anything really happens. I’d like some feedback, and suggestions regarding my style, voice, etc.
There are definitely some spots I already cringe at while reading, but I’d like to hear from you.