My partner and I have been together for over 10 years. We love each other very much. She is a research scientist and professor who went to a top university and has an impressive career. I’m very proud of her success and I love to see her come home at the end of a demanding day at work, looking powerful, smart, and sexy in her tastefully chosen work clothes. I have a good job as a schoolteacher, but my work is less prestigious than hers, I make far less money, and I focus more on maintaining our home, cooking meals, and caring for our two kids.
The other night when she came home from work (quite late, as usual), she gave me a quick kiss and then announced, a bit breathlessly, “I have great news. I got the directorship!” She had applied for a major promotion within her research lab a month earlier; I could tell from her sparky tone of voice and the quick, supple gestures with which she animated her words that, despite the long day, she felt exultant and energized by this professional coup. I also suspected from the way she spoke and moved that, as I had observed in the past, her heightened energy and affect at realizing this career ambition had an erotic tinge to it. “I want to celebrate,” she said, “and I know just how I want to do it.” Cocking an eyebrow, she slowed her rate of speech and lowered the pitch of her voice, until it was utterly peremptory: “Go get yourself a glass of wine. Go to the bedroom. Take off your clothes, lie on the bed, and wait for me. You may not touch yourself.”