Some context – I’m active on an app where I tend to get messages from men looking for NSA sex. I received one that simply asked me if I liked to be tied up. I’d received the same before and simply deleted it, but this time my chronic health condition was beating down my body, I was in pain, and I was enraged at the thought of some random person wishing they could dominate me and cause my body more pain than it was already experiencing. I bit back. With a night of sleep under my belt, I was able to step back and realize that since this sparked such a strong negative reaction in me at first blush, more than likely there’s an element of something I want hidden in there that I need to tease out…. even though I’ve always placed a high premium on my own independence. Here’s my attempt at doing so with a strong element of fantasy built in given that I’m married to man who’s borderline asexual. FML.
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