The Year I [F] Realized I am a MILF (Part 3/3)

The final part of my embrace of both my age (and MILFhood) but also my life was in the autumn of 2019. This story again involves Ashley, the 24 year old friend of mine who has a daughter in my daughter’s class. We may have a 14 year age gap but we’re best friends! Whenever she got me a little tipsy with wine she always wanted to hear stories of my college days. Ashley didn’t go to college (single teenage mom!) and felt like she missed out. And as you know. I like to share stories! But one day as we’re catching up this time I am the one interested to hear of her wild stories. She was telling me about a recent one night stand she had at a club. I was a little scandalized! I have been out of the game for a while now and I didn’t expect Ashley to be telling me about her encounters she had out the back of a club. Not that Mark and I can lecture anyone on semi-public sex!

The Year I [F] Realized I am a MILF (Part 2/3)

2019 was the year where Mark and I started our Freedom Nights. We now had two kids running around the house. I love them! But it can drain you. So we decided that once every two weeks we would each have a night where one of us is allowed to leave the house and do whatever they want while the other looks after the kids. Mark goes and play tennis and then goes to some sport bar. I have a very set routine for my Freedom Nights. I go swimming for an hour. And then feeling a little tired but good I go to this lovely old fashioned coffee house and I read a book or sketch until late. I love those nights!

Now I don’t want you getting too excited just yet! I know Mark has shared some of my skimpy bikini experiences! But I was there to swim. Not to show off. So I swim in a proper one-piece suit. My butt might have a habit of eating the back of it and I might have to readjust it every so often but it’s not a sexy swim suit! And this story isn’t about the time in the swimming pool. It’s about what happens directly after.

The Year I [F] Realized I am a MILF (Part 1/3)

2019 (the last normal year) was the year I realized I am a MILF. I should have realized this a lot earlier. I was 37-38 with two kids. I was far closer to 40 than 30! And still my age caught me by surprise. Physically my body knew it was getting older. I was now that “Pixar mom with the dumptruck ass”. The weight from my second pregnancy had gone straight to my butt and thighs. I was lucky that my red hair was mostly free from gray hairs! But I was looking older. I wore my glasses most of the time. My breasts aren’t as gravity defying as they used to be! I like to keep fit so my stomach is mostly trimmed but my butt is only getting more jiggly. Much to Mark’s delight.

[MF] Mark and Sally Big Move – Breaking in the New House

Some of my happiest memories are from New York – that crazy fucking city. It was where Sally and I both said ‘I love you’ for the first time. It was where we got back together. It was where we lived in her apartment when we got married, had our first kid, and felt our relationship bonding so that it would never brake. But around five-six years ago now we both thought we were outgrowing it – we were definitely outgrowing our apartment. Kid #1 was coming up to 4 years old. We were thinking about Kid #2. We needed a bigger place. We could have got a bigger apartment but it just didn’t feel right. We wanted that American Dream – we wanted the big lawn for the kids and an apple tree and all that shit. So we made our decision to move. I work in a field where you can nearly always find a job no matter where you move. Sally had decided that she would be a stay-at-home mom – not very modern in this day and age, but Sally also had her artistic side which she could now let flourish if she wasn’t working.

How I [F] Got Fucked in a Canoe and Lived to Tell the Tale

Mark has already talked about my love for wild camping. It’s so amazing being out in the wild! It’s a really strange combination of peaceful and exciting and I love it! However having a little kid limits exactly how much you can do. When our little girl turned 3 (and we started thinking about having baby#2) I suddenly panicked about my next opportunity to get out in the wild for a nice long period of time. I knew I needed to do one more big trip before we started trying again. And I wanted to do something even bigger than before! I wanted to do a river trail, hiring a canoe and rowing down the river for several days, camping alongside it each night. Adventure!

So I went to work convincing the people I needed to. My mom was obviously more than happy to look after her granddaughter for a week. She was so excited! Our daughter was at first put off by the idea of being away from us for a week but it’s easy to trick a 3 year old. It wasn’t that mommy and daddy was going on vacation. It was her going on vacation! She was going on vacation to grandma and she had to pack her bags and get ready. And then she was excited by the idea.

[MF] Accidentally Buttfucking Sally on the In-Laws Couch

My darling wife has given you recently three wholesome stories about our sex life during our first time pregnant. But she’s asked me to now write up one of our naughtier stories – a true dive into our pervertedness.

I’m not sure if anyone has realized but we’re trying to keep these stories chronological – so that it’s not too messy to read for anyone who flicks through. This happened when Kid #1 was around two. It was also Christmas. Now for any couples here you know that deciding what to do at Christmas can be fucking difficult. Two families to work with. Fortunately that year my younger sibling decides to make the choice easy for me. They married younger than I and started pumping out kids like a Catholic family and they’ve told everyone their going around my mom’s place for Christmas. So I ring up Sally’s parents and let them know that they’ll get to spend Christmas with their grandkid! And then tell my mom sadly that we can’t join them this year – we promised Sally’s parents.

How I [F] Got Back in the Saddle After Pregnancy

Childbearing hips. That’s what people said to me all the time when I was pregnant. That I shouldn’t have a problem because I had childbearing hips. It’s strange that people felt free to openly discuss my figure now I was pregnant. Saying childbearing hips is basically just saying look at her body with those wide hips. They weren’t wrong. I have wide hips. Mark would be a sweetie and say I have an hourglass figure. I’m probably more pear. Either way I have some hips. And people said it was going to be easy for me because of them. Giving birth was not easy.

I’m not going into details. This is a place for smut! For sexy stories! This was not sexy. But the more we write these stories the more I want to be honest about relationships. And coming out of pregnancy was not fun or sexy. My body was a mess. We had a baby that could survive on very little sleep. Life was hard. The idea that our old sex life was just going to come back was a wild dream. And men, you might not know this so be prepared. But it’s actually recommended to have no normal sex for at least 6 weeks.

Learning to Love My [F] Pregnancy Breasts

I need to talk about my breasts. I know my husband has an obsession with my backside which means my breasts are barely talked about. But I think I always had a nice pair. Unlike my butt they didn’t look over-the-top when compared to my short figure. I was a C-D cup (although guys the cup size isn’t a perfect indicator!) and I was happy with them. I liked to have them played with. And to have them sucked on. I never had orgasms just from breast simulation but I thought that was a lie by magazines! And my breasts and I still had a great relationship!

And then I got pregnant. And then I hated my breasts.

The first trimester was strangely the worst. They felt heavy and swollen. All the time. Showering in the morning, sore. Working during the day, sore. Watching television in the evening? Fucking sore. I hated them. It was partly because of that that Mark and I’s sex life fell off a cliff. The redheaded freak sharing stories with you didn’t like sex anymore! I felt uncomfortable all the time. I was tired. Nothing turned me on. Mark was such a sweetie. He went from cramming in sex three times a day to get pregnant to getting a sympathy handjob or blowjob once a week. I felt bad. Which made it worse! Guilt is not a good turn on!

How I [F] Got Pregnant

People always told me horror stories about kids. They said that they ruined your lives. That you would never sleep again. You would never have money again. Or worse of all that you would never have sex again. Despite all this advice I still wanted kids. And so did Mark. We’d enjoyed 2 years of married life and we thought it was time to start trying. We were entering our 30s and I knew it would only get harder.

For some reason I thought getting pregnant would be easy. If you grew up in the 90s like me you were told all the time that unprotected sex meant babies. And Mark and I were having lots of sex and it was soon unprotected! Pregnant time! But no. For six months I wasn’t on the pill and for six months that little stick told me I wasn’t pregnant. I got concerned! What if there was something wrong with us? A doctor told me not to worry and that it could take time. He said he would only recommend fertility test if we tried for more than a year without results. Not very helpful. I needed to take matters into my own hands.

[MF] Mark and Sally Goes on Honeymoon – The Bikini Compromise

Wedding planning for Sally and I was incredibly smooth. We didn’t have any arguments that could be heard on the other side of the country. It helped partly that Sally didn’t have any grand plans and partly because I barely had any plans at all – I was far more concerned about the wedding night. But this story isn’t about that. It’s about the honeymoon which we did bicker about. You see the way I saw it was a honeymoon was a grand vacation – we were going to spend a lot of money so we might as well go somewhere good. Italy? France? All great options. Sally’s view was that it was about relaxing after the wedding: the Caribbean was the perfect spot. After several days of spirited debate we arrived at the Honeymoon Bikini Compromise.

We would spend a week at a resort in the Caribbean. I would get to pack Sally’s swimwear.

I came out on top in that compromise.

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