If You Want to Pitch, [F]irst You Have to Receive

If you are a sexually active woman in today’s day and age you will be familiar with one inalienable truth. No matter how well or often you suck or fuck a cock, there is always a day when they ask for the ultimate prize, anal.

Now I like my arsehole licked more than anything in this world but sticking a cock in there doesn’t really do anything for me. Nor any of my friends for those fellas taking note, no one I’ve talked about anal too has turned around and gone “I love shitting cum and not being able to sit down properly after”. Not in with a straight face anyways.

I’m a people pleaser though so when a guy inevitably pops the question you know what I say? “Sure, but if your are going to pitch, you are going to receive first”. Most guys assume I’m talking about sticking a finger up their arse for a minute or two, as if that is a fair trade, and the look when I explain that what I actually mean is I want to fuck them with my strap on until I cum is genuinely priceless. Most think I’m joking but quickly realise that if they are going to do that to me, I am deadly serious about doing it to them first.

[F] My Personal Sextoy

Hello everyone, it’s been a minute hasn’t it? Work and a steady stream of fresh married cock has kept me more than busy these last couple of months.

Today’s story isn’t about married cock though, but a rather talented unmarried tongue belonging to a man called Chris. Chris and I became acquainted when he responded to my post on r/randomactsofmuffdive. Any women out there reading this do yourself a favour and make a post over there, you won’t be disappointed. Chris was amongst those who got in touch offering their services, making it onto my shortlist and finally winning out because he lives close to me and would be available at short notice 24/7.

The terms of my post may surprise quite a few of you who got in touch after my previous posts here. Shockingly I actually prefer to receive head rather than give it so despite your kind offers to let me “choke on my fat cock you filthy slut” (seriously who does that work on) as a few eloquent gentlemen have put it but this is actually the way to get in my pants. Though I guess few of you with that attitude would accept the terms.

I Love [F]ucking Married Men

Probably not the most popular thing to put on here but it’s the truth. Something about married cock just hits different and makes me cum so hard I’m worried I’m going to snap the blessed cock in half inside me. This is especially true if the guy is cheating, non of this non-monogamy bullshit. I want the thrill of the chase, tempting a man to break his marital vows, the intoxicating rush of power as he sinks into my dripping cunt and realises how much better it feels than his wife’s. The raw animalistic fuck that comes shortly after when they realise I’m the opposite of their prudish wife and they can fuck me as hard as they like and I will only scream louder. It’s been too long since I’ve had that and my pussy is aching just thinking about it now.

I always find out the stuff that their darling wife reluctantly or flat out refuses to do. Then proceed to do exactly that with reckless enthusiasm. She won’t let you near her arsehole,? Good thing I wore my buttplug today to loosen mine up for you to fuck sadistically and fill with your hot cum. She only sleeps with you in bed with the lights off? Bend me over your kitchen table and fuck me whilst I film it to tease you with later.

The Truth About Why I’m so [F]ucking Lucky

My friends and family often joke about how lucky I am all the time. Things always seem to break my way, whether that’s getting a promotion that everyone in the office is going for or getting my nice new car super cheep. The running joke is they are surprised I haven’t won the lottery yet but it’s only a matter of time.

What they don’t know is the source of my luck is my complete dedication and perfection of one thing. Sucking cock. It’s really no surprise I got that promotion as I doubt there are many other people in the office who let the boss cum all over their face while staring him dead in the eye and trying to swallow his balls down their greedy throat. And if they did they clearly didn’t do it as well as I did.

Nor do I think the car salesman gets many offers for a road head on the test drive judging by the discount he gave me. Not surprising seeing as he was fat and smelt faintly of cigarettes but I still swallowed his rather large load, smiled and licked my lips after like it was the finest caviar I’ve ever eaten. I’m sure he told everyone in the dealership but that just means when I go back I’m sure there will be a scramble to be the one that takes me out on the test drive.