It started when I was pretty young. I would go to parties and drink a little and let boys feel me up. That was fun, but it was even more fun to feel them up. Most of them had never been touched like that before. I admit that I got a couple of boys off through their pants then by rubbing them or grinding on them. It felt incredible to have that kind of power and to do something so taboo. My parents were really religious, so even over the clothes touching or kissing was way over the line.
But I got more daring. I remember the first one. I’m kind of ashamed of it. This boy had me up against the wall and he was kissing me. I was rubbing him through his pants and I decided I really wanted to touch it, so I pulled it out. It was in my hand, the thing I had been fantasizing about for so long. My hand was like a vice I was gripping it so hard. He didn’t complain, and he didn’t complain when I started jerking him off, either. Kissing that boy while I stroked him was… my favourite sexual experience. I chased it forever. Even though I made him cum on my hands and he made this disgusted face when I licked it off. I thought boys liked that.