Author: tothesunx

The Longest Uber Ride of My Hoe Li[F]e – A Butt Plug Story

Hi. It’s me. A slut from the internet who meets men (scoring ladies on the internet is hard for EVERYone, man) of questionable morals for casual sex because I disguise my abandonment issues as self-confidence. I’ve written other stories about my self-confidence that you can read at your leisure if you want to experience the emotional roller coaster of being a person who hates everyone but fucks strangers. They’re all real. They’re detailed because every awkward moment is carved into my soul, and I get off to the thought of others getting off to my suffering. PMs are open, because what the fuck else do I have to be doing?

Now that we’ve got the obligatory disclosure out of the way, I understand I’m entitled to offer you visual folks who are still reading your porn (you adorable balls of conflicting internal interests) a description of me: I’m 5’2″, 130 lbs, that weird trendy gray shade of blonde, resting bitch face, oversized Warby Parkers, fake DDD boobs that I’m told could totally pass for natural (liars), objectively work hot, and (fuck you to whoever coined this) PAWG-ish. I only put PAWGish because I paid really good money for really awesome tits, and still get told my ass is my best feature. This really sucks as a 5’2″ person with short arms to take appropriate pictures of. I’ve included a fair effort. This [picture](https://imgur.com/a/omqRxDQ) is the best I can do. Just kidding – Here’s a [picture](https://imgur.com/a/nPZhJ5E) of my yoga pants covered in cat hair, which is actually the best I can do. Read more »

My [f] Size Queen Origin Story

The first one was fun, so I figured I’d do it again. An origin story is always fitting right? I debated between my origin story ending in my discovery that I’m kind of a size queen or my origin story ending in my first successful reddit hookup. This origin story will probably have less angst than most, so you’ll have to soothe your need to read about people more unfortunate than yourself elsewhere. I’ve posted before about a reddit hookup, so I guess you can check that out if you want. But you don’t have to. But you can.

Having had five sentences to think about it, let’s go with size queen origin story. It takes place in an office setting, so if you don’t want to read an episode of The Office but with explicit sex scenes, maybe skip this one. To set the mood, slice your shower orange in half, because citrus smells are legit. Freaking moisturize your hands if you’re going to touch yourself so it feels nice and soft, because you deserve it. It got long, but I think the power dynamics are important to establish here. I’ll still put a line of asterisks where the sex starts so you can skip ahead if you have no appreciation for a half decent build up. Read more »

I [F] Fucked a Redditor [M] Who Told 500K People About It on the Radio

Here’s a brief story from last week, not today, as is reddit tradition to maybe give someone hope (if attractive) or at least say that some people actually get laid here (if attractive).

Posted on here that I was coming to a city about two weeks ago where I would be for four days. I carefully chose the ones who actually read my post and sent pictures and could compose a sentence and lined them up like dominos so that my evenings would be less boring. For reference, I am 5’2″, blonde, and stacked in the way it used to mean before fat chicks stole it. I’m told I have a nice body, but theres enough redditors out there who I’ve met who might see this and confirm/deny. Anyways. Just to set the stage – it could have been way worse for these guys. Read more »