Author: tomlikesallofit

[MF] I love my Job

I sell cars for a living and yesterday I had a couple with their daughter looking to buy her her first car since she graduated high school.

Cause we literally went back-and-forth on the price of their vehicle for about an hour and a half and literally between seven dollars a month they stood up to leave.

At this point I had spent three hours with these people and I wasn’t going to let them leave over seven dollars and waste my time so I pointed at the chairs and aggressively told them to “sit, down“

They are perfect little Catholic school daughter fell right into the chair looked me dead in the eyes with a very devious smirk and said “yes daddy“

Her parents were absolutely astonished that she did that but I honestly don’t think that they really understood.

DoorDash n’ Smash [MF]

During Covid I got pretty desperate when it came to money so I started DoorDash. Never in 1 billion years would I have thought anything about hooking up especially during Covid. But apparently, even during a pandemic. People are still fucking horny. Especially when they are at a lack of human contact.

Myself and about five other Dashers were sitting in one of the hot zones in a parking lot at a close movie theater. We were all just kind of sitting around waiting for orders to come through and shooting the shit. We all kind of met up off of a DoorDash group on Facebook.

It was pretty late at night and it was very very dead so none of us were really doing much and we all told each other that basically we would return when we did a dash and it was completed if we didn’t get anything else and we all set up there leaving and going for about four hours. Sounds pretty lame and I guess it was but during Covid that was the most entertainment any of us had gotten in quite a while. Read more »

[MMF] first but experience

A few years ago I used the whisper app quite frequently, back when the app was still a lot of fun.

I had fucked probably three or four girls off of there. And God knows how many sucked my cock by that point. Or how many I’ve gone down on.

But one instance sticks in my mind big time. After talking for about three or four days to a girl who ended up sending some pictures. Very very pretty little blonde, she asked for a picture of my cock and I obliged being the horny little pervert that I was.

She then gave me her cell phone number, and we FaceTimed once or twice. I eventually got her address and she asked me over one afternoon.

I walked in and she greeted me with a big hug telling me she was surprised I actually showed up. She smiled and then shoved her tongue down my throat. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a young man walking out of the hallway, and he seemed very very shocked to see this girl kissing me. Read more »

[MF] renaissance Festival fun

A few years back I used to hang out with a group of friends that love going to the Renaissance Festival here in Michigan. I’m not gonna lie I like going out and doing random crap as well. So I like to go to. When I was 25 I decided to go wearing my kilt and I wore it the right way. Because balls like these don’t fit in pants.

Surprisingly I was one of the very few guys there that actually wore a kilt and they serve alcohol. I got pretty buzzed up (plus I snuck some in) and we started running around just basically causing shit.

We met another group of people consisting about half guys and half girls ranging from probably 17-ish all the way up.

My friend asked me in front of all of them if I wore my kilt properly. (The proper way to wear a kilt is, nothing underneath.) I said absolutely, some of the girls instantly started giggling and some of the guys started laughing.

Little did one of the guys who laughed at me know, within an hour his girlfriend had her head up underneath my “skirt“. I’m not gonna lie guys, raw dogging a nerdy young girl dressed like a slutty elf in public is pretty fucking hot. Read more »

Fucking [m]y best [F]riend in the back of an Uber

Working at a car dealership can be very stressful and can drive even the most sane person to drink. I was never the kind of guy to frequent a bar until I met this super tiny really cute little southern girl bartender. I frequented the bar 2 to 3 times a week just to hang out with her and talk to her.

After a divorce the last thing I wanted was a relationship so I really didn’t try anything. But after a while I got a huge huge crush on this girl and that’s why I continue to go to this shitty bar LOL we became really good friends, our kids hung out and that’s when I found out she lived with her daughters dad. He was always too high to really care about who she was hanging out with and only got angry with her a couple of times for hanging out with me. Not wanting to cause a problem I kept my distance for a week. About three or four months after I started attending this bar on the regular, both her boyfriend and her came to my place and we had a barbecue, our kids hung out and we just had a good day. Of course though her boyfriend had to mess that up. Went to the car to get high and came back threw a temper tantrum and left her there.d I kept my distance for a week. Read more »