[FF] Before dawn, tired lust

How did we even get here? There was the club: neon and cheap vodka and lipstick in the cracked mirror. Then the bus ride. The city lights smeared lines of gold. Then a café, tea for Holly, coffee for me. A drunk with a bible gets freebies from the Greek sandwich jockey. Punks and hipsters make an uneasy truce by the jukebox. Ah now I remember. She says I should stay over. I stay over at Holly’s a lot these days.

The balcony. Small, a potted rosemary tries to become a tree. Basil, oregano, marjoram, overlap and interlink, savoury perfume. There is rain coming in. Undercloud glows like the cherry of a lucky strike. Holly hands me a gin. Sharp lemon, bitter tonic, sweet Bombay. Fizzle and snap on my dozy lips.

Then her lips. I didn’t see that coming. I like to pretend I’m innocent. Don’t you? She isn’t there and then she is. We are touching, finding places to put down the tumblers. Mustn’t spill. What would our mothers think? I have a skirt and a tee, she leggings and crop. She is short. She kisses my top lip with hers, then the bottom. Her hand moves up my leg. I cup her through her skinsuit.

[FM] We fuck in vivid hypercolour

The sunset burns peach through the horizon smog. It gives way to oceanic blue, then black with the love spot of Venus.

We run. Lean, hot bodies. He pushes me against the wall when we are home. Spare change and keys make gamelan as the fall from the side table. His hand moves to my mound as his tongue enters my mouth. I shudder, shrink, smile, feel small beside him. I part my legs. He rubs me through a layer of Lycra and a layer of black cotton. I keep one hand on his chest, like I am keeping away, like I want him to be gentle. Yeah right.

My free hand goes to his shorts. He is hard. He is thick. I can’t get over it. Three years and still every time I touch him I gasp like I’ve been told bad news. He is bad news. He is good news. My eyes flash catlike in the weight of the purple dusk. It’s like the bottom of the sea it’s so humid. He is the anglerfish and I always go straight for the lure.* I take his shaft, stroke it. He puts his hand in my panties. His fingers sink into my bush, spread my lips. Ok. Volume volume turn up the volume.