Now I’m a middle-age woman, married late, 2 young kids.
Decades ago, long before I met my husband, I had sexual relations with my father. That’s my secret.
I was just out of college, 22, the youngest child, and Mom had died 2 years earlier. Dad was going to be in the home alone after my brother went into the Army. I moved back home to live with Dad just as my brother moved out.
Our losses were, I now know, very different. But there’s no way to measure such things – the loss of a parent versus the loss of a life partner. One dark day followed another, each of us struggling. Our Minister helped, visiting weekly and guiding us through grief. He was the one to coach us to talk about her often, not avoid the topic. Put out more photos, he said. Keep her not only in our hearts, but in our heads too. Mention her at mealtimes, even set a place if it felt right.