“I’ll be very unimpressed if you don’t leave me bruised” [MF] [College]

First story, so apologies if the writing isn’t quite up to scratch. This all happened fairly recently – so there will be opportunities for follow up stories if people are interested… I’m also pretty sure some details are in the wrong order but I doubt if anyone cares.
I’m at a pretty large university – and bored and extremely single, I was on tinder. I matched with a pretty, tall, slender, glasses-wearing red-head called Jessica. For context (and imaginations :P) I’m below average height, average looks, brown hair, blue eyes, but am pretty athletic. Name’s John.

Chatting led to texting, which led to a date. The date went well enough, but as such dates generally go, there wasn’t really anything there. We texted a bit more but I left it.

Except, a few days later, I got this exact text:

*”I get the impression you’re not interested. But I really need to get laid so… Wanna hook up?”*

(Italics from here on out are exact quotes by the way).

We were on.

TL;DR: she came round later that week, and we had sex. But that would ruin the fun.