Author: thisisalexhello

[MF] Taking “Naps” With My Former Roommate’s Girlfriend Was A Very Bad Idea (PART THREE)

[PART ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ujtsuy/mf_taking_naps_with_my_former_roommates/)

[PART TWO](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ummvtc/mf_taking_naps_with_my_former_roommates/)

When I woke up in the morning, Jessica was gone. Not just from my room, but the entire apartment. I walked out to the living room to find Travis sitting on the couch eating a slice of toast and sipping on a protein shake while watching videos of himself surfing on the television. I think he posted them to YouTube? I don’t think anyone ever watched though.

“Hope we didn’t wake you up this morning,” he said in between bites.

“What do you mean?”

“Jessica and I… we had this big blowup at like five in the morning. She woke me up talking about how she didn’t see a future with me, and I was like fucking half asleep and grumpy. I think I called her a cunt at one point. Told her to ‘fucking leave so I can go back to sleep’ and she left.”

“Wow. I’m sorry,” I said, trying my best to sound genuine.

“It’s whatever, bro. She’ll come back,” he said with a smile, “And if not, there’s other fish in the sea,” he cheesed real big and pointed to the screen, which was currently displaying drone footage of the ocean. Read more »

[MF] Taking “Naps” With My Former Roommate’s Girlfriend Was A Very Bad Idea (PART TWO)

[PART ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ujtsuy/mf_taking_naps_with_my_former_roommates/)

I think there were like a hundred “updateme” comments on part one, so I suppose it’s my duty to give you all a part two. After all, my goal in life is to please. Well, my goal is to become a multimillionaire with minimal effort, but until that happens, I’ll settle with pleasing a couple hundred people on Reddit. When I say things went back to normal after fucking Jessica on the couch, I really mean things went back to normal… for her.

Me? I was freaking the fuck out. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know when you pass a shoe hanging from a power line? I felt like that shoe. At any moment, a strong gust of wind was going to come and knock me off.

Somehow, Travis was going to find out. Jessica liked to drink on the weekends when they’d go out, so I figured it would slip then. She’d get too drunk and start confessing her sins to him on the dance floor as ‘*Turn Down for What*’ plays in the background.

“You’re being so weird,” Jessica sighed, probably a week or two after the event. It was late morning, just before lunchtime. Read more »

[MF] Taking “Naps” With My Former Roommate’s Girlfriend Was A Very Bad Idea

When I first moved out of my hometown to the *~big city~* I couldn’t afford to live on my own, so I had to search for a roommate. This was a terrible adventure for me, mostly because I’m awkward and don’t like most people. I look at all these people who go to clubs every weekend and think, *”Why? How?” –* I find myself being overwhelmed during a 20-minute shopping trip at Target.

Anyway, it took close to a month, but I finally connected with a dude (Travis) who was around my same age and was going to school to become a lawyer. We were very different. He came from wealth. I came from trash. He had muscles, and then those muscles also had muscles. I had a skinny frame and often struggled to open jars of peanut butter. He was outgoing and surfed. I was reserved and surfed… the internet. Read more »

[MF] I Gave My Sister’s Pregnant Friend A Massage, And She Wanted MUCH More (PART TWO)

[PART ONE](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/ugwrve/mf_i_gave_my_sisters_pregnant_friend_a_massage/)

The morning after Selena and I crossed multiple lines, I went out for a long walk around the neighborhood. I remember it clearly because there was a construction crew at a house on the corner and the homeowner was yelling at some of the crew members because they had been leaving their “trash” on his driveway.

And because I’m a ridiculously nosy person, I pretended to tie my shoes, so I could listen to more of the argument. At one point, the homeowner yelled, “I’M NOT ASKING FOR THE WORLD HERE, GUYS!” which at the time, I found to be really funny. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it sounded so suburban. He appeared to be super stressed, but I got the impression he was stressed about other things, and he was just taking it out on the construction crew.

Anyway, this is not why y’all came here. I was on this walk trying to clear my head. I had never slept with a married woman. Romantic entanglements played no part in my five-year plan. Just kidding. I had no five-year plan, but if I did, affairs would not be in it. Sure, the idea of it is hot. Watching it in porn is always fun, and I must admit, experiencing it firsthand the night prior was even better. Cumming on Selena’s tits provided me with one of the hottest orgasms of my life. Read more »

[MF] I Gave My Sister’s Pregnant Friend A Massage, And She Wanted MUCH More

Hello. As my username hints, my name is Alex. I’m in my mid-20s, and for the most part, my life has been somewhat mundane. I haven’t gone viral. I didn’t shoot a game-winning three pointer in high school. I’m not some multi-millionaire tech entrepreneur, and the only “Paris” I’ve been to was located in Texas.

Safe to say, I certainly do not deserve to have a memoir written about me. With that being said, something unexpected happened to me a couple months ago, and I think the story is worthy of this sub.

I moved out of my hometown when I was 22. I went from small-town to big city, and honestly, I’ve enjoyed it for the most part. I’m not a huge fan of the pollution and the constant sound of sirens and helicopters, but at some point, you kinda grow fond of them. Even the strong smell of urine on the sidewalk has a sorta, “Aw, shucks,” vibe to it now. Read more »