I’m 22, Asian. I been curious about sex since my teenage years. And during my life in the university I discovered an anonymous chatting app called as “antiland”, initially I was using this app to chat and making internet friends. However, I found that there are a lot of creeps on there. First I was despised them and now I become one of those people who randomly send my nudes to strangers online. Because I like people praising me and say how sexy or cute I’m, I like to see them jerking off for me. I feel bad about this because this is very morally wrong. But it is kinda like an addiction because I enjoy to see guys who I like or have feelings for sending me clips of them jerking off by looking at my pictures. I think it all because I have low self esteem and I need as many validations as possible.
And I also active on dating apps like tinder or bumble. However, I have never tried ons before. I can’t have sex with people I just met. I feel shy and awkward so I rarely meet my matches irl. I just talk to them on the phone and if the conversation goes wild we will switch to the another app and sexting. But I really curious about sex! I want someone I like to touch me.. however at the same time I afraid I get attached and that person just leaves me for new people. Because you know, dating app is always like this.
I don’t want be a virgin when I’m 30 but I also don’t want get attached to some temporary person because of sex. What should I do?