She Said She Needed So[m]eone To [F]uck Her, Right Away

A few months ago, I piled high two baskets of dirty clothes and carefully stepped down the icy back stairs that lead to my building’s laundry room. It’s a thoroughly annoying chore, and in the winter a precarious one due to the occasional ice-slip that leaves your rear end aching for days. I was already having a pretty shitty day after learning that the project I had been working on for weeks was going to be totally scrapped, so when I arrived at the laundry room and saw a girl who was just about to fill up both washers with clothes, I really couldn’t contain my disappointment.

“Fuck,” I said under my breath. But it wasn’t quiet enough. The girl heard me.

“Sorry,” she said. "I’ll take them out as soon as they’re done."

She seemed to be a few years younger than me, in her mid 20s. She had a sweet, round face. I think people call it a "moon face,” which makes sense not just because it’s so round, but because its gravity draws you in. It immediately changed my mood from irritable to calm. She also had blonde hair, very blonde hair. The kind of blonde where it’s so deeply ingrained you swear she must have been badly electrocuted at some point.

First blowjob from some aggressive older girls during summer school [FMF]

I was 14 and a late bloomer, barely five feet and skinny as a fire pole. A few sprigs of pubic hair were a very recent addition to my southern hemisphere. The only time I’d ever touched a girl was during an awkward slow dance the year before. I mustered all my courage and asked Katie Lucien to dance to a Boyz II Men song. I think it was “I’ll Make Love To You.” This wasn’t intentional, I can assure you. It was one of those panicky spur of the moment decisions that I forced myself to make sometimes. All I can remember are my sweaty palms and being grateful for the half foot of air between our bodies, which safely hid my rock hard erection from her. After the dance was over, I watched her embarrassed face turn towards her friends laughing off to the side. She quickly scampered away without so much as a goodbye or a see you later. Welcome to the 8th grade in 1997.