Wherein a Newlywed With Whom I Have a History Cheats for Me (m/f).

Long time, first time, whatever. I'm not particularly proud of this (okay, I am in a fucked up sort of way) but I know you guys will like the story, but probably not the writing (I always scored low on that part of the SAT). This happened when I was in college, but it's still fresh in my mind. There's a significant back story that'll I try to trim up, so skip ahead to the bold text for the actual dirty deeds. Apologies in advance for the length, it ended up a lot longer than expected. Let's introduce the Cast of Characters:

Me: The wisecracking jerk, short dark hair, longer on the top than on the sides that seems to be fashionable. About 6' on the money, around 190 of stout body. I play team sports, and enjoy outdoors adventure sports. I guess I have a pretty decent body. Not toned, but not fat. Clean shaven, blue eyes.

Her: We'll call her Marilyn, because I like that name. Skinny as a rail, blonde hair. Small boobs, tight stomach, and a very firm ass. Small boobs usually isn't my type, but she has an adorable country accent that makes me melt. She played tennis, I think. Blue eyes, maybe around 5'6".