[MM] my (21M) online bi experience

I’m 21m, and I’ve been into older men and chatting with them online for several years now, but haven’t yet met with anyone in person. There’s something so hot about getting loud, horny, and emotional with an older married man. For a long time it was restricted to mainly getting off, but lately I’ve been craving a more emotional connection. A couple months ago I chatted with a guy for a while, and we’d swap pics and get off to girls together. It became clear soon that we were both seriously into each other. The last time he called me we both were moaning so loud, I had this 50 year old grown man in the palm of my hand. It got really emotional, he kept moaning and he told me he loved me and that he wanted to fuck me. I said I’d give him my ass and we talked ab meeting up, I’ve never been more ready to give anyone my ass. And when he came it was so hot, he said he wanted to make me his boyfriend and take care of me, and he came so hard and so loud he even let out a couple little squeals. We told each other that we loved each other but he hasn’t messaged me since :(, I wish I could have such an intense connection again with an older man like that.