###To all /r/gonewildstories readers. This is exactly the same post written for /r/RandomActsOfBlowJob that was removed for “being too long and rambling” while also “including a phone number” (there is no phone number). It may not be formatted perfectly for this sub, but I think you’ll all enjoy it (and someone deserves to read it besides those named within).
###Let’s get a few disclaimers out of the way:
1. This is as much a post worthy of /r/TIFU as it is /r/gonewildstories. If you opened up this post hoping to cum, you might just find yourself on the floor laughing and if you opened up my post to laugh, you might just find your hands down your pants. Who knows, neither is my primary goal, but I imagine it will be a bit of both. Writing is a passion of mine though I never really sought a career in it. I’ll receive no points for brevity here and am already having to think about the 40k character limit. I also don’t care about your points, so any argument of /r/ThatHappened or arguments that I’m a *”Karma Whore”* will be slapped down. I’m a whore of another color and really just love sharing stories about my life. **Sorry, not sorry.**