This story doesn’t have any cheating. It doesn’t involve a 3way. It doesn’t involve a dark alley behind a bar. It happened in a boring, middle-class bedroom in the suburbs with the lights on low. But it does require some introduction.
[Archer](https://bad-dragon.com/products/archer) is [Bad Dragon’s](https://bad-dragon.com/) “most boring toy”. “It’s just a human penis”, they say. But ours has the ability to shoot a massive amount of cum into or onto whoever is taking it. Aside from the fact that Archer is 2.25″ thick, this is his best feature.
Uncle Joe is actually [Bandit](https://vixen-creations.myshopify.com/collections/vixskin/products/bandit?variant=1662794628) from Vixen. I don’t know how they measure him on the website, but ours is actually more like 8″x2″. The way he got the name Uncle Joe is absurd and involves some backhanded remark from the internet.
For the visually inclined, I’m tall, lanky, clean-shaven and nerdy, and when I tell people I’m actually 45 years old, they usually don’t believe me right away. I blame a lack of sun and not smoking. My wife by contrast, is ridiculously curvy. Her cup size is an H or I or something, also known as “we don’t carry that” most everywhere. You could buy small islands for the amount we spend on bras, which I suppose, is fitting.