Author: SomeKindofTreeWizard

Spring cleaning with my ex [MF] 20’s (Long narrative)

[For context: Sadie was my long-term girlfriend over the last portion of college. Average height, maybe a tiny bit short? athletic build, strong back, amazing collarbone, and wide hips with a firm round butt. Has a strong, but calm presence, and loves the outdoors. Long blonde hair, and elfy features with an almond-shaped face.

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I would describe myself as moderately tall, lanky, and introverted? I’m told on rare occasions that I’m handsome and that I have sad eyes.

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Previous stories about our saga are stickied on my profile!]

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Many years ago, when spring was in the air, birds were chirping, and flowers were blooming. Sadie and I had been living together, informally, for several months. Taking walks, holding hands, wearing our beat-up hoodies in the crisp spring air and

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[M]e and my [F]avorite camping partner (Part 2). 20’s

!!! I forgot to post a link to part 1:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/111r38v/me_and_my_favorite_camping_partner_part_1_20s/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/111r38v/me_and_my_favorite_camping_partner_part_1_20s/)

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(These events immediately follow part 1. Please start there!)

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I think… you could say, a great blowjob is a lot like a really good song. There’s only so much to work with in musical theory. It doesn’t have to be NOVEL or experimental, or cranked on blast. Its enjoyability is dependent on the mood conveyed, and received. And it can be from the “greatest hits” section, but the best songs still evoke the right feeling in the right moment. A song you’ve heard a thousand times can be comfortable. And yes, I’m asserting that familiarity isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

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As EXCITING as new lovers are, and as thought-provoking as avant garde design can be- I find myself desiring the comfortable. My favorite coffee brand, made to the exacting method I prefer. My hoody I’ve owned since middleschool that’s worn out on the elbows, and fraying at the wrists. I think I’m the kind of guy that, if I owned art, I’d want a painting to look at every day. Something soothing to ponder in a quiet moment, and never tire of it. I don’t see myself as the kind of person that changes his living space because the consumption drones of a fashionable magazine told me to? Read more »

[M]e and my [F]avorite camping partner (Part 1). 20’s

I’ve been thinking about Sadie a lot lately (ex girlfriend, athletic slim, blonde with excellent wide hips and a plump butt)

([https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/103sf7p/fm_a_room_with_a_view/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/103sf7p/fm_a_room_with_a_view/))

([https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/10a8hky/kitchens_and_their_waisthigh_surfaces_mf_20s/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/10a8hky/kitchens_and_their_waisthigh_surfaces_mf_20s/))

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and I’ve been struggling to get a story out about her that I was satisfied with, but at some point I have to write something whether I’m happy with it or not?

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So, when I was a younger man, and more active, sometimes I would go camping on some friends’ land. My favorite time to go is late winter. Where I live we don’t have HARSH winters, but we have miserable summers, and a lot of ticks and tickborne disease. So… if you catch the weather right, you can play outside without really having to worry about the bugs. Just start a fire, wear plenty of layers, and whenever possible, bring your delightful outdoorsy girlfriend that likes to latch onto you when she’s cold.

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We had the whole weekend planned. Had all of our gear and a spiffy tent, canteens to drink instant coffee mixed with hot chocolate, and absolutely no condoms.

… spoiler alert, we preferred to fuck raw. Read more »

Kitchens, and their waist-high surfaces [MF] 20’s.

(This story includes my ex “Sadie” first featured here:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/103sf7p/fm_a_room_with_a_view/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/103sf7p/fm_a_room_with_a_view/) )

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Sadie and I had been together for a little bit. We were at that point in our relationship where she was spending less and less time at her place, and waking up at mine. We had just gotten back from the bar. Listening to random live music, and working with a decent 2 to 4 beer buzz. Some act came on that was playing too loud, and not that well, so we figured we would have a better time back home watching a movie on the couch.

We were having a debate over watching some miserable Victorian drama with an all British cast, or a kitschy B movie with David Carradine in it. I was speaking in vociferous defense of David Carradine’s legendary schlocky career when Sadie decided she was over whatever banal debate we were having-

Once I hit the door to the kitchen she deliberately dropped her keys and gave a ridiculous bend and pop that bumped her butt into me. This was probably a not-subtle reminder that I had barely commented on her outfit all night. Read more »

[FM] A room with a view.

I was staying in a downtown hotel in Chicago with my (at the time) longest term girlfriend, Sadie. She and I met in college, writing pretentious reports about dead pretentious writers. There was a series of group projects, study groups, coffee, and sleepovers, and we were a couple before we had even really noticed.

Sadie was a thin-framed woman with an earthy outdoorsy, aesthetic. Slender build, with very well developed and very kissable collarbones, and deltoids that dipped into her shoulder muscles to give you the impression that she may have been a gymnast in a past life.

But those weren’t her only hidden traits. Her above mentioned thin-frame *exploded* at her waist to the most picture-perfect hips and butt I have ever seen on a woman. She’d usually wear an oversized dumpy hoody like a potato-sack to hide her figure. I don’t know what it is about modest, shy women, but I fall for them. Hard. Especially if they have big hips.

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“There is absolutely no sex in the champagne room” [MF] 20’s.

Once upon a time, on my 21st year, I went out in Vegas to visit a friend who had relocated there. At this point in my life, I was a moderate to heavy drinker, typical nerdy shy-guy with minimal sexual experience. I only had a few “not serious” girlfriends. Making out, bad blowjobs, and what have you. So the prospect of going to one of the top 5 strip clubs in Las Vegas, with beautiful women, was daunting. Coming from a TEENY TINY town in the midwest, the siting of a beautiful woman was rare, and often met with skepticism by your peers.

My friend and I had dressed well, as is customary for a “night out on the town”, black slacks, suit jacket, decent button up shirt. And there had to have been a little magic in my outfit since we won a few hundred bucks at blackjack following basic strategy.

After we cashed out our chips, my semi-local friend suggested we hit up one of the top strip clubs in Vegas. He asked if I had a preference. I suggested full nude, and NOT that far away from where I was staying, but he nixed that and said all the full nude performances had no liquor and were out in bumblefuck. And he was an alcoholic. So we hopped over to “The Blue Gem” (names changed to protect the innocents). Read more »

That time I had a pregnancy scare with a friend’s girlfriend [MF] 20’s

Some old friends and I were having a bonfire with about 20 people back in the day. It was hot, sticky, and in the middle of nowhere, like most good bonfires. Most of the party goers knew each other through a core group of friends who were all in the same band. Hash was passed. Liquor was consumed, and I got to meet a particularly charming raven haired woman by the name of Charlie. Charlotte, but nobody called her that. She was 20, slender like a lot of those “clean living” vegan types are. And she was in a multiyear relationship with the band’s drummer. At this point, all I knew about her was that she was cute, an acid head, and very woo-woo. She was the kind of girl that spoke to ancient spirits, and guided people on drug trips. She had this quirky, thrift-store goth thing about her. Her hair was down to her butt, and often had charms and knick knacks woven into it.

This was our first time meeting. The drummer, Eric, was spouting some nonsense about wanting to die of a massive drug overdose “like any real artist, you’re a brilliant towering flame of glory one moment, gone and forgotten the next”. Read more »

A story of hooking up with a nerdy woman (part 2) [MF]

This, is a part 2 (and finale?) of my first story found here:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/v8vbhc/i_25_m_received_the_blessing_of_a_nerdy_29_f/](https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/v8vbhc/i_25_m_received_the_blessing_of_a_nerdy_29_f/)

You might want to go there for context and exposition.

I (25, M) and a young woman known as Evie (29 F) had masturbated together and Evie had given me one of the better blowjobs of my life in her room, at her apartment, shortly after we had dinner with her roommate Madison. Madison and I had been dating(?) for a couple months with nothing physical occurring, as she was a devout Christian, and I was a filthy Atheist heathen.

Evie was a slightly older woman with a Velma aesthetic. Very shy, a little curvy, and very nerdy. Madison, was basically a brunette disney princess who spent a majority of her time at choir practice.

Well, to complicate matters, I mentioned the three of us worked for the same company? In the weeks that followed our initial exchange, Evie and I would sext at work, and send nudes during and after work. We never wound up making out in the breakroom, or fucking in the bathroom stalls. But she would send me video of her touching her (now) shaved pussy, or pulling her frumpy clothes aside to reveal her pendulous, full, round breasts. I would reciprocate by sending video of myself jerking off and cumming. Sometimes in very familiar settings (her room, my room, the bathroom stall at work). Read more »

I 25 [M], received the blessing of a nerdy 29 [F]

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First time post. I hope you’ll bear with me as I’m a little nervous. And I’m going to change names and some circumstances to protect people’s privacy.

Back in my mid 20’s I was dating a VERY conservative Christian girl in her late 20’s. Once I came out as an Atheist, our dating really cooled off from hand holding and snuggling while watching movies at my place to… meeting in public more and more with her female roommate.

Let’s call the christian girl I was dating Madison, and let’s call Madison’s nerdy roommate Evie. Both of these women were modestly curvy brunettes, maybe 5′ 6″. Madison had absurd, Disney princess prettiness, and was one increment thinner than Evie. Evie was always dressed a bit frumpy, like she deliberately bought clothes two sizes too big

Evie and Madison had been friends for most of their lives, and I was pretty sure Evie was used to Madison being “the pretty one” which was a gross underestimate of her charms. She was a very attractive girl, but she had no fashion sense, a dumpy haircut, and coke-bottle glasses. And as I think more and more about it- you should imagine Evie as a slightly taller Velma in baggy clothes? And now I wonder if she was going for that look on purpose. Read more »