My girlfriend and I are in a semi-open long-distance relationship. That’s to say, anything and everything other than sex is on the table, while sex, defined as penetration, is off it. We have both been happy with this arrangement. That is, until she started hanging out with her ex again.
Since then, we have both been happier. I am kidding. I think we have both been kinkier. I get an unexplained boner when she tells me that they’re going for dinner and she knows this. I wonder what their chemistry must be like, what his eyes must be looking at, and whether he misses her undressed as a longing or as regret. It all turns me on. She teases me with the details. I cum every time.
She sends me a selfie before she leaves. She sneaks one in when she’s there. I am updated. My mind is at peace. She sends one when she’s back. I look for signs. Is there is a mark around her neckline that wasn’t there before? Is her lipstick slightly smudged by someone else’s lips, or did she just wipe off that breadcrumb? I zoom in with one hand. I anticipate and dread with another, hard. She tells me they limit themselves to a hug. Do they? Do I want them to? I think so. She thinks so. He thinks so. I don’t think so. I have zoomed into tens of selfies. No sign. I tell her there’s no sign. She asks me to look closer. She laughs. I don’t want to see a sign. But I want to look for it, in anticipation.