Author: seacobs

The god-man blew the skin under his chin and enlarged himself ten-fold. He was the size of a large planet. His nemesis had already began a counter-attack against his god-castle he created out of his penile bone. Ten thousand rows of sex fairies had begun conducting artillery fire against the main stronghold of his enemy.

“Lord Commander!” the general of the Third Field Artillery Regiment yelled amidst the increasing noises of air-filled space. “The enemy has begun spewing spider-web like vaginal fluids against our short vaginal burst fire. Our sustained attacks won’t hold for much longer unless we deploy more troops against their flanks.”

“You mean, more sex fairies?” asked the god-man.

“Yes, Lord Commander!”

The god-man whipped out his dick out of his Kangaroo pouch and pulled his foreskin back, which opened several portals, out of which sex fairies came out. As the general of the Third Field Artillery Regiment was about to share her thoughts to the god-man, he spewed streams of penile fluids with air pocket grooves, which her pubes traced like the stylus of a vinyl record to interpret the information contained there. Read more »

What is a human coil? Many men have tried to answer this question and yet all of them have failed except one. That man or rather woman was gender-swapped Naruto. The creator of the human coil.

It was midnight, his bloodshot eyes wouldn’t yearn for sleep as they were completely affixed to the glass tube inside of which a dying Sasuke was slowly dying. Gender-swapped Naruto 2120, or GSN 2120 for short, which sounds like some cancerous chemical, was reading the topological entropy readings measuring Sasuke’s ever dying erection. The erection was deflating very slowly, which made GSN 2120 thirsty and very sad at the same time as the impossibility of having sex with horrified Sasuke glaring at GSN 2120 and all other such creatures as if he wanted to slice him up with his katana became increasingly unlikely.

“Look at these sex fairies amalgamating around his deflating penis.” said GSN 2120. “It makes me want to eat that ass onahole molded after Sasuke’s ass I just made earlier.”

“But they won’t amalgamate inside his gaping wound.” replied GSN 2121. “If he weren’t dying, we would be having a massive orgy.” Read more »

The god-man blew the skin under his chin and enlarged himself ten-fold. He was the size of a large planet. His nemesis had already began a counter-attack against his god-castle he created out of his penile bone. Ten thousand rows of sex fairies had begun conducting artillery fire against the main stronghold of his enemy.

“Lord Commander!” the general of the Third Field Artillery Regiment yelled amidst the increasing noises of air-filled space. “The enemy has begun spewing spider-web like vaginal fluids against our short vaginal burst fire. Our sustained attacks won’t hold for much longer unless we deploy more troops against their flanks.”

“You mean, more sex fairies?” asked the god-man.

“Yes, Lord Commander!”

The god-man whipped out his dick out of his Kangaroo pouch and pulled his foreskin back, which opened several portals, out of which sex fairies came out. As the general of the Third Field Artillery Regiment was about to share her thoughts to the god-man, he spewed streams of penile fluids with air pocket grooves, which her pubes traced like the stylus of a vinyl record to interpret the information contained there. Read more »

What is a human coil? Many men have tried to answer this question and yet all of them have failed except one. That man, or rather, woman was gender-swapped Naruto. The creator of the human coil.

It was midnight, his bloodshot eyes wouldn’t yearn for sleep as they were completely affixed to the glass tube inside of which a dying Sasuke was slowly dying. Gender-swapped Naruto 2120, or GSN 2120 for short, which sounds like some cancerous chemical, was reading the topological entropy readings measuring Sasuke’s ever dying erection. The erection was deflating very slowly, which made GSN 2120 thirsty and very sad at the same time as the impossibility of having sex with horrified Sasuke glaring at GSN 2120 and all other such creatures as if he wanted to slice him up with his katana became increasingly unlikely.

“Look at these sex fairies amalgamating around his deflating penis.” said GSN 2120. “It makes me want to eat that ass onahole molded after Sasuke’s ass I just made earlier.”

“But they won’t amalgamate inside his gaping wound.” replied GSN 2121. “If he weren’t dying, we would be having a massive orgy.” Read more »

There were several cubes stacked into one larger cube. In the middle of those cubes was Sasuke. Every day, Sasuke would hear the people from the neighboring cubes have extremely loud sex in the darkness of his room. They would have sex every day all day long to the point it would make him subject to bouts of insanity. It was only one day when he figured he could scream the names of the people of the other side to make them die of embarrassment. Only then would he get some reprieve from the constant moaning, he thought.

“Diana, oh, yes Diana, I am about to come!” screamed Sasuke with a hint of embarrassment in his shaky voice. “Oh, yes, that’s it!”

“Sasuke!? Is that you?” replied one of the voices.

The voice was feminine, extremely so, which made him wonder who it might be. The sex moans stopped suddenly. Something Sasuke didn’t expect at all, not even in his wildest imagination. Not knowing what to say, Sasuke remained silent and hoped the person on the other side would forget about what just happened, but unfortunately the person on the other side wouldn’t let him off the hook. Read more »

A plastic tumbleweed was tumbling towards Emperor Sasuke in the dusty mess of His apartment. He had reached Godhood after being a wizard for so long and being unable to comprehend that a sex toy cannot be fucked without putting on lube all over His dick. At this point, not a single vagina would approach Him. His mouth would vacuum the dust floating in the stale air of His dusty apartment and would shoot back a flurry of bullets that formed a bullet curtain that protected His penis.

“Fellow citizens of the dusty dune, I have remained here to express my concern about a dream I had yesterday.” announced Sasuke. “I dreamed that a gender-swapped Naruto would threaten my virginity. We must be on the look out for such a dangerous creature and exterminate it before it desecrates the Holy Land.”

“Whirr!” replied the dust exhaled from Sasuke’s mouth.

All of a sudden, to His horror, a gender-swapped Naruto appeared before Him. The monster was completely naked and had soft fox fur all over its body. His trusty servants started whirling about as to create an impenetrable fortress of bullets around His penis, but unfortunately the monster that was gender-swapped Naruto proved to be too much of a formidable foe being able to dodge every bullet by barely moving an inch as if his furry avatar was being controlled by a Japanese grandmaster. Read more »

The quinquennial committee meeting of the Flat Earth Society had begun. Chairing the meeting was Joe Rogan whose head had become shinier than a polished table polished with a mixture of turpentine and lemon oil. The room was round, round like Joe Rogan’s bald head, bald like a bald eagle, but actually bald. Overlooking the whole round room was a giant crooked penis, crooked like Joe Rogan’s brows when he argues that a transgender woman is not a woman and should not beat the shit out of real woman in a mixed martial art match. The giant crooked penis emitted an ominous sound as the centrifugal force allowing the earth to remain flat threatened to fling cum at all of these highly intelligent noblemen. As the ominous sound receded, Sasuke kicked off the meeting with a stupid comment.

“I believe all women.” said Sasuke. “One crazy old hag told me the earth was flat. This is why I became a flat-earther.”

“Only crazy people believe that all women are as good a fighter as a man.” replied Joe Rogan. “Only a son of a bitch would claim otherwise.”

“For fuck sake, we’re supposed to talk about the curvature of the earth or the lack thereof!” replied Sasuke. Read more »

Lord Sasuke sat proudly on a ceremonial throne carried on shoulders by his foot soldiers. The ceremonial throne consisted of a richly adorned armchair covered with silk, on top of which was fastened a complex meshwork of chains that held a crippled giant sex fairy whose vagina kept Sasuke’s now bald head warm and moist. On both sides, there were two gilded rings, through which a long rod was inserted to allow the foot soldiers to carry Sasuke and whatever that other thing was. Sasuke grabbed the frame of a hand mirror and made a small sex fairy squirt a huge one to create a magnifying liquid so that Sasuke could peer into the distance.

“Hmm, let’s see how the battle is unfolding.” said a musing Sasuke. “I doubt the enemy forces are a match for us.”

Sasuke saw a dozen of giant ogres suffocating as a ring constituted of sex fairies attached mouth-to-pussy went through their mouths and came out of their asses rolling through their own army and spreading chaos among their own ranks. Some of the demons seeing their waifus pass by rushed through the swarm only worsening the chaotic mess that unfolded before them. Read more »