Author: robusticusjaddy

The hotel bar is dark, but busy. You walked in, trying to act nonchalant. Reminding yourself to look confident, un-self-aware, as if you were here for business, just one of the guests. You haven’t felt the cold outside, thanks to the warm, buzzing feeling inside. The fabric of your black dress, thin, pressing against your skin, slides smoothly against your overcoat. You can feel the goosebumps all over your body. The anticipation is intense, and so is the second-guessing.

Should you have come? This is insane. He won’t show. Your mind is racing. It was one thing to exchange glances, but now…. You sit in a comfortable chair back away from the bar. Still trying to look nonchalant, you scan the bar anxiously, wondering if I’m there. The businessmen at the bar, the loner here and there, wondering if one of them is me. You order a drink from the waitress and wait. You shouldn’t have come, you tell yourself. You drink it too quickly. But the alcohol does its work. You feel calmer soon. Read more »

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The hotel bar is dark, but busy. You walked in, trying to act nonchalant. Reminding yourself to look confident, un-self-aware, as if you were here for business, just one of the guests. You haven’t felt the cold outside, thanks to the warm, buzzing feeling inside. The fabric of your black dress, thin, pressing against your skin, slides smoothly against your overcoat. You can feel the goosebumps all over your body. The anticipation is intense, and so is the second-guessing.

Should you have come? This is insane. He won’t show. Your mind is racing. It was one thing to exchange glances, but now…. You sit in a comfortable chair back away from the bar. Still trying to look nonchalant, you scan the bar anxiously, wondering if I’m there. The businessmen at the bar, the loner here and there, wondering if one of them is me. You order a drink from the waitress and wait. You shouldn’t have come, you tell yourself. You drink it too quickly. But the alcohol does its work. You feel calmer soon. Read more »

The hotel bar is dark, but busy.  You walked in, trying to act nonchalant.  Reminding yourself to look confident, un-self-aware, as if you were here for business, just one of the guests.  You haven’t felt the cold outside, thanks to the warm, buzzing feeling inside.  The fabric of your black dress, thin, pressing against your skin, slides smoothly against your overcoat.  You can feel the goosebumps all over your body.  The anticipation is intense, and so is the second-guessing.  Should you have come?  This is insane.  He won’t show.  Your mind is racing.  It was one thing to exchange glances, but now….  Read more »

“If a disciplinary issue arises, then you call down to the principal’s office. But I expect you to maintain order in the classroom, so don’t call with every little episode. You’re going to have to get used to what counts as normal at NewField, Jessica.” The gruff instruction from the principal made a lump form in your throat, as you stood in the electric glow of the harsh overhead fluorescent lights of the school office. You couldn’t tell whether his comment about “counts as normal” was a warning, or a threat.
Either way, you were asking yourself whether you could go through with this. You had become an educator for a reason — you were convinced of the value you could provide to children, especially the underprivileged — but NewField was anything like what you’d experienced. At the elementary schools you had become a beloved, award-winning teacher in just two years. Your heels clicked loudly on the hallway floor, and leering looks from the students at their lockers caught the corner of your eye as you walked deliberately toward your classroom, with your binder full of lesson plans and notes in your arms. Read more »