I don't know how to begin this story. Despite it happening over a year ago, I've never told it to anyone. Partially, I am ashamed that I agreed to participate at all. But mostly it is because I do not feel as though I agreed to participate as extensively as I did. A man should fear no things, but I fear, in large degree, the reactions my friends and loved ones would have if I told them I was snookered into having ritualistic, Satanic sex with another man. I don't feel like I'm alone in this.
There was only one place I wanted to work after I graduated from law school. Ever since sophomore year of undergrad, I was obsessed with getting this one job. It consumed me. I worked hard. I got into a T1 law school. I made review and dean's list and I got my dream job. It was everything I ever wanted. The hours were awful, the work was droll, I had no social life, but the pay was ludicrously inflated. All I wanted was an enormous pay check, no matter the cost. My father was a minister in a small town in the south. I drove a brand new, fully stocked Lexus and I was only 26. I had escaped small America and I lived in the city. I was working for one of the biggest firms in the world and many other lawyers were accepting contractor work site the economy tanked. In a way that feels so incredibly good: I won.