I’ve been married for a few years but my wife and I have never had a very productive sex life even before marriage and when we do have sex it is very vanilla to me… she is submissive and enjoys being choked, but only enjoys missionary, doesn’t ever want me to go down on her, won’t go down on me, and HATES cum. All things that bum me out. I’ve tried so many times to explain that I need and want more and it’s never felt like a priority to her. I have never had this problem with any women, and I used to have high self esteem and confidence in my looks and sexual ability, but this issue in my marriage has destroyed my self confidence and self worth, feeling like the person I am in love with doesn’t want me in return. We are seeing a therapist where I will be bringing this up more frequently because sex is very important to me, and neither one of us want to give up on this marriage so please no “she’s not the one for you” comments.