A cold bed. An empty room. The enveloping darkness…
Not that you didn’t deserve it; deep down you knew that. Acting up in such a manner had never been taken well before, it’s no surprise it hadn’t gotten you anywhere this time: alone.
The loneliness – that’s really what it came down to, and it did feel so terribly lonely, not like the last time. There was no pain for a companion here, you’d not been punished at all; not sure why you’d been spared, but you knew you’d crossed the line this time, maybe that had made things different? Not knowing was almost worse.
At least a punishment would have been something, you thought! At least you’d know you were worth punishing. There’d be something to cry about, you’d have an outlet for this awful feeling; there’d be a direct consequence to your actions which showed a clear path forward, because you knew a good girl is one that takes her punishment and tries to learn, so she can move forward. You’d already been taught that.
*If only I’d have been punished this time, hurt, if I could cry real tears… if only. Daddy might have even come to comfort me, if I’d been brave and took it well?*