Author: primelensdude

The Weekend of a Lifetime: A story in four Acts [MF]

Warning: Long. **TL;DR**: Had sex

Styling note: Anything italicized is my internal monologue. e.g. *Why am I adding a styling note, anyway? Folks will rub one out and abandon the wall of text midway*.

**Act 1: Incredulity**

A few weeks ago, I was browsing Reddit, minding my business, when I received a notification “u/___ just followed you”.

My first thought was – *Huh? I haven’t posted anything in a while. Why would anyone follow me? Likely a bot!*

I clicked through their profile and learnt it was a 2 month old account. *Okay, likely not a bot then. Or a bot playing the long game, perhaps!* 

I shot a chat back thanking them for following me. I received a response immediately “I liked your post about tantric sex. Tell me more.” 

*Ohhhhhh, that would explain it! But I made that post a while ago..? This male/female/bot went deep in the local r4r archives to find my ad!*

I had time on my hands. If memory serves, I was in the middle of a long-drawn corporate Zoom call and ready to give myself a lobotomy if it meant I would get out of it. So I gave this male/female/bot an intro to Tantric sex. It’s something I like talking about, so even if this *was* a bot, I figured I’d be providing it with good training material.  Read more »

Demure married hottie gets aggressive with me at Ikea [FM]

Experiences that leave an indelible mark for life almost always come by unexpectedly. So did this one.

I was grumpy. It was already the middle of a Monday and I was massively behind work as one meeting after another nibbled at my hours, as well as my patience.

The message came from a female Redditor who had picked my cheeky response from (what she tells me) a hundred responses to her ad the previous week. Our inaugural meeting was a lot of fun, but rather rushed, and culminated in me receiving a wet, sloppy blowjob in the backseat of her 4WD car.

“I’m in your area. Want a lunchtime blowjob?” read her text.

“Of course I want that blowjob! Is this a trick question? Where are you?”

“Returning some things at Ikea, can meet you in 20”

“Great! I’ll meet you in the parking lot!”

It came as no surprise that she chose to park her car merely 50 feet from the main entrance. She found public sex thrilling, and I came around to the thrill too! There was little time, and even lesser of a point, to find some place more secluded. Read more »

[MF] A dalliance with a married hottie

“Sorry, your reddit content is a little bit too much for me:)”

From a prior account, I had invited someone who had posted on my local r4r page to check my Reddit content out and judge if I fit her criteria to meet up and have good ol’ fashioned sex. Alas, ’twasn’t to be. To cheer myself up, I was reminded of the saying “*Some days you’re the pigeon, some days the statue”. Today, I was decidedly a statue.*

A few days later, however, I see an orange envelope. A message from her!! She said she tried and liked the coffee shop I had alluded to in my earlier message as a meet-up spot.

*”Her post is wildly popular, why did she choose to write back again to me? Must investigate!”* ran my internal monologue. Not wasting any time, I offered to buy her my favorite drink from said shop. She didn’t say no.

Leading up to our meeting, I sussed out that she:

-was a very hot new mom who happens to be breastfeeding

-would love to be deep-throated

-loves the idea of sex in a public place Read more »

Finding my unicorn: An unexpected RAOBJ success [FM]

“Hey man, you free to head up to Reno next week? Our supplier is changing the T&C of our contract again and I want you to ensure we’re not being taken to the cleaners”

So starts this story, with a text from my boss. Normally, I wouldn’t have minded. The flight duration from the Bay Area to Reno is about two Frasier episodes long, 2.5 if we encounter a headwind. While there, I enjoy Noble Pie (recommend the Wrangler with a good IPA). Not to mention the quiet time away from a quarrelsome long-term relationship beginning to come apart at its seams.

This time however, I was annoyed. Week after week I’d been flying to Reno – I was on Season 7 of Frasier already, to give you an idea. I wanted nothing more than to stay put, to go to happy hours in SF with friends from business school after work, instead of nursing a lonesome pour in my hotel room as I pored over Excel models. I had bought 10 CrossFit classes off of Groupon months ago, and dammit I still needed to redeem 7 of them. So no, boss, I wasn’t free to head to Reno! Read more »