Giving in to my desires [M/F]

I am a 36 year old single father of two young boys. I lost my wife when I was 30, she was 31. It was a quick moving terminal illness and obviously not something I am going to dwell on in this story but suffice to say she went from perfectly healthy to taking her last breath in a 4 month period.

Once she passed it was an adjustment for my boys and I. But we settled into a routine. I am a spiritual man and religious. I attend a somewhat decent church that's rooted in sound doctrine. It can be a bit stuffy and legalistic at times….but nonetheless was the one my late wife and I attended. I don't masturbate much at all and don't look at porn. This is new for me posting here and not something I ever would have dreamt of doing before. But I want to…I don't know why. Broadening my horizons I guess.

I also don't have sex outside of marriage. If I date then I date women who share my views. In a 5 year period since losing my wife I went on dates with 3 different women. All nice decent women…but it never really went anywhere with them.