I hadn't really been that successful in my relationships with women until I met Emily. I had no trouble starting a relationship but each time, after a while something seemed to be missing. I always lost interest in them sexually as a growing sense of need would take over. I never knew what the need was for so it remained a sort of nagging psychic itch.
Of course the women I dated were not the women I was attracted to and I knew that. I was attracted to them physically and emotionally but I had to force the sexual interest. On the other hand, the best, most intense and fulfilling relationships I had were with escorts, strippers and porn actresses. Not just any escort or whore but those that were in the business because they loved being the business. Those relationships never worked out, never because of the sex but because after a while I didn't connect with them as people.
I was stuck. I dated women I liked as people and found them sexually unappealing, or I dated women I loved sexually but could not connect with them at any other level.