The first time I [F]ucked an older [M]an

I (22F) met this man, let’s call him L (40s M) through some random friends. No one knows anything of what happened but us…

I didn’t really know L much, but he added me on Facebook. I’d get the occasional comment, until one day he messaged me. I genuinely thought he was just being friendly (silly me huh?). I really didn’t think I was into him at all…. I don’t tend to go for older men, and he was very very average. I continue to talk to him until he asks me to get a drink one day. *sure, why not? It’s harmless*

L and I grab a drink one day, laughing, just overall having a good time. He was kinda flirty with me, but I pretended I didn’t notice and wasn’t going to say anything about it.

He walked me back to my car. As I’m saying good bye, I went to hug him, and I have no idea why but I felt this overwhelming feeling of just *wanting to fuck him.* I knew I shouldn’t. I couldn’t. No no.
I kissed him. He kissed me back immediately, but was very taken back.