**Disclaimer:** As you’ll soon learn, the circumstances of this story make some level of speculation unavoidable. Any fudging of actions or dialogue has been made in good faith. I hope you’ll accept, though, that the important bits – and there are many of them – have remained as clear and sharp as the night they took place.
Impatient and/or horny people can skip to the **[***]**.
**Fall of 1998. Nowhere, the Midwest, USA**
Me: A standard-issue small-town white nerd, aged 21. 5’7″ on my best day, not fat, but no muscle tone to speak of. Thick brown hair, dark green eyes, two godawful small-town tattoos, and, although it hadn’t been pointed out to me yet, a rather attractive, well-proportioned dick. At the time of this story, a bit inexperienced, but still a total pervert.