I had a lot of fucked up kinks, and it just feels like I continue to add to them with time. New People, more desires, more wants. But there is one thing that was a saving grace – whatever I do with a girl, to a girl, I’ll do it when she is awake. When she is conscious. When she can make sense of what is happening. Even if she is drunk, at least she knows. And I’ll never do anything if she passes out. I’ll fuck her in the morning when she wakes up, even if I have to force her, but not when is out of it.
The one saving grace, that I could be brave enough to resist.
She had been this high school crush who I could flirt with once I reconnected with her when we were both in our different colleges. Flirt. Flirt. Flirt. Flirt sexually. And it became more fun to talk to her. She could be fap material, and she was that for a long time. Before she became a virtual fuck buddy, that one night when I turned her. And we sexted the entire night. It didn’t matter that she had a bf, it didn’t matter that I had a gf. We sexted, and I got to know she had rapekink.. and she was irresistible. Four years, an on again off again virtual fuck relationship with her, disappointing that I could never be where she was when we were on.