31F here. This happened last week and I’m just now getting to the point where I’ve processed it enough to write this down. I’ve been experiencing a flurry of emotions from terrible crushing guilt to not being able to stop thinking about what happened.
My husband and I are happily married and I never saw myself as one who would cheat. It’s not something that ever appealed to me. Sex for me is mostly about the emotional connection so even if I pass a gorgeous guy on the street I don’t really have any desire to fuck him.
Unfortunately, I have one weakness, which is what eventually got me. I have a thing for the “bad boy” James Deen archetype, especially with tons of tats. Tall, skinny, messy blonde hair, sleeves and chest and back pieces, chiseled facial features, dirty mouth, out of control, smokes cigarettes and weed, musician. Individually none of these is enough to “hook” me. In fact on anyone else smoking is a turn off too. But all in one person and it just… triggers something that I can’t contain or control much.