In my early teens I was always slightly bookish and overweight so, although I had started to notice the boys at that age, none of them ever seemed to notice me. However, by my late teens I was genuinely happy with the way I looked. I felt that I had grown up into a real woman and, although the boys I had grown up with still didn’t seem to give me much attention, I was hopeful that I would be able to make up for being neglected for so many years when I started college.
I met Devon in my first few weeks of college. I was 18 and he was a postgraduate student a few years older than me. We clicked straight away and it was less than a month before we were in a relationship and only a month or so after that before we started having sex. He was fairly sexually experienced by the time we met but I had never so much as kissed another man and, although I have never been able to understand this, he always made it clear to me that the fact I had never been with anyone else was important to him.
After I graduated, we moved in together and both ended up with reasonably well-paid jobs with decent prospects and we started making plans for the future. We agreed that we should spend the next few years focussing on our careers and enjoying our freedom before seriously considering getting married and starting a family. On the outside, I’m sure it looked like we had the perfect relationship with good jobs, a comfortable situation and an active social life. However, nothing is ever really perfect.
My desire to be seen as a beautiful and sexy woman was still as strong as ever but Devon’s idea that I had never been with another man seemed to develop over time into a possessive and puritanical view of me and my body. We both liked to have sex regularly and he was not a selfish lover. He had a magic and gentle touch that he used to make me cum after we had sex if he hadn’t been able to make me cum during. However, whereas he was happy with completely vanilla missionary sex a few nights a week, this never came close to giving me what I needed.
Something that I often fantasised about was getting back home from a night out with friends and, as soon as our door was closed, I would imagine Devon forcing me down on my knees and making me suck his cock, and then him throwing me over the sofa, pulling up my dress and taking me roughly, eventually leaving me exhausted and used. When I shared this with him and suggested that we act this out, he told me that he did not like to think of me that way. I tried this kind of thing a few times, even trying out surprising him by wearing sexy lingerie, but he always rejected my attempt to try anything new. These experiences made me feel so deflated and unsexy. I wanted to have my femininity and sexuality validated, but the way Devon treated me brought me back to being the fat girl that all the boys ignored, and over the years my resentment for him over this grew. Eventually I gave up and resigned myself to having a boring and unsatisfying sex life.
One evening over a couple of glasses of wine I shared this with my mother, expecting her to approve of Devon’s puritanical view of me and encourage me to accept my situation. However, to my surprise she seemed concerned about me. She explained to me how important it is for a woman to be sexually fulfilled in a relationship and that there are many different ways a woman can achieve this. She then told me about her brother’s wife, my aunt Linda, who with my uncle’s consent would regularly have sex with other men. She even told me about the secret symbol that Linda and other women like her use to discreetly indicate that they are sexually available even when they are in a relationship, an ankle bracelet on their right ankle. I felt so jealous of my aunt Linda and wondered what it would be like to have that kind of sexual freedom in my relationship.
It was clear to me that there wasn’t any point in even considering whether Devon would be open to letting me have sex with other men yet the idea that my own mother had implanted in my mind blossomed and I found the idea of having sex with other men without Devon ever finding out incredibly arousing. I started to fantasise regularly about meeting a stranger in a secret place and letting him do things to me that I knew Devon would never do. I got especially aroused by the fantasy of allowing another man to cum inside me, not because I wanted to get pregnant (if I ever got pregnant, I knew I wanted it to be by Devon), but because I felt that that was the strongest symbol of a man’s desire for my body and I knew that committing such an intimate act with another man would be the greatest violation of Devon’s puritanical and possessive view of me.
I knew there were men in my life who would have sex with me if I let them although they were all men that had a connection with me or Devon and I would never be able to be sure that Devon would not find out. I felt that one of the most important elements of my fantasy was feeling safe that Devon could never know what I was doing and the thought of actually doing something that could put our relationship in jeopardy and that could be so hurtful to him made my stomach turn. So for years it seemed my fantasy would forever remain a fantasy.
xXx
My job involved occasionally attending skills courses in various cities across the country. I didn’t particularly like travelling or being away from home although attending these courses was required for career progression so I found myself going on two or three per year. After a few years in the job, I was offered an opportunity to attend a specialist week-long course halfway across the country. This one was a little different because it was outside my usual field so nobody else on the course was in my profession and none of the small group of friends or acquaintances that I had made by attending the other courses over the past few years were going.
The course was held in a large conference centre in the middle of a city. The conference centre had a hotel attached in which everyone on the course stayed, and a nice restaurant where all of our meals were pre-paid. I arrived on the first day and entered a seminar room with a few dozen people already there, mostly my age or a few years older. I ended up sitting on the front row with a group of three people who seemed to already know each other and looked friendly. One of them was a guy called David, who I ended up sitting next to, and his two friends were Carla and Claire.
David and I chatted a bit and he was nice and even a little flirty, although I mentioned Devon in passing a few times to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I was trying to come across as fun and interesting and I thought I was doing a good job. However, I started to get irritated by two people behind us talking over the lecturer and eventually I turned around and asked them, perhaps so politely as to seem patronising, to be quiet.
“you’re such a little goody two-shoes aren’t you” David said, and Carla and Claire laughed.
That night, after my nightly call with Devon, I lay awake in bed recalling the exchange with David and found it strange that I was so fixated on what David thought of me and why I couldn’t stop thinking about ways of making him think I wasn’t the “little goody two-shoes” he thought I was.
Then suddenly, with a wave of excitement, I was struck by a realisation. I was clearly attracted to David and it seemed quite obvious that he was attracted to me too. We had also established during our conversation that we were from different ends of the country and didn’t have any connection with each other what so ever. Was it possible that I could have sex with David this week without there being any chance of Devon finding out? The possibility of fulfilling my biggest fantasy started to get me wet and I fell asleep to a quivering orgasm thinking of a secret sexual encounter with the man I had only met that morning.
David, Carla, Claire and I spent most of our time together over the next few days and I became a temporary member of their little clique. On the second to last night, we all arranged to go out together and eventually ended up going to a night club. It was already late when we got in and it was extremely dark and noisy. The air was filled with mist and beams of light and the dance floor was just a chaotic mass of people. I got a little drunk but still felt very much in control of myself.
When I could see that Carla and Claire had gone to the bar and left me and David alone, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the middle of the crowded dance floor, pressed my body into his and, after a few moments of confusion, he seemed to understand what I was doing and we started kissing. I had done this almost completely on impulse and I barely realised that this was already crossing a huge line for me. The music was too loud for us to say anything to each other, but we communicated with our bodies and as we kissed I started to feel his cock getting hard and pressing against me. The idea of opening up my body to this man and allowing him inside me suddenly felt real.
Then out of nowhere a group of drunk students crashed into us and I was separated from David and stumbled a few steps into the writhing mass of people. I immediately turned around to try to reorient myself and get back to David but all I saw were strangers’ faced. After a minute or so I found Carla and Claire and they told me that they had just seen David and that he had said something about not feeling well and gone back to the hotel. My heart absolutely sank to the pit of my stomach. I could not understand why he would leave now and I spent another hour with them hoping that they were mistaken and that I would see David again before I headed back to the hotel and went to bed with that familiar feeling of foolishness and rejection.
The next morning I woke up to a message from David apologising for taking advantage of me while I was drunk and saying that he should never have done it when he knew that I had a boyfriend. I immediately felt angry. Was another man really trying to police what I could do with my body!? I took a few moments to calm down and just replied to tell him that it was no problem, and started to tell myself that I never really wanted to go through with it anyway.
xXx
The last day of the course was slightly awkward with David avoiding me but towards the end of the day he came over to me when Carla and Claire weren’t around.
“I think it would be good for us to have a chat to clear the air after last night” he said.
I agreed that we needed to talk, although only because I got the sense that the real reason he wanted to talk was that he was having second thoughts about rejecting me. I didn’t suggest that we go to a bar since we would be likely to drink and I didn’t want to give him an excuse to turn me down for the same reason as last night. Instead, I suggested that I come to his room a couple of hours after dinner and he agreed.
As I had only packed for the course, after the last class had finished I quickly headed out to buy something that I thought I might need. I went to a fairly high-end department store and headed to the lingerie section where I picked out some black lace-top hold-up stockings and a pair of tiny black lace panties. It was such a thrill to openly walk around the store with these items and hand them over to the cashier with the secret thought of what I was planning to do with them. The thought of stopping off at the drug store too to pick up some condoms didn’t even enter my mind.
After dinner I had my call with Devon just before my usual bedtime and told him I would be having a shower and getting an early night before driving back home first thing the following morning, my tummy filled with butterflies just from telling him this little lie. Afterwards I jumped in the shower and washed my body, pleased that I had happened to shave my legs a few evenings before and so didn’t have to bother now. I didn’t wash my hair as I didn’t want to have to take the time to dry it. I stepped out of the shower and dried myself but instead of getting into bed, I got ready meet David.
I took the black lace panties, feeling the light and delicate fabric on my fingertips, and carefully pulled them on and positioned them around my hips. I then opened the stockings and pulled them on over my legs, carefully positioning the tacky silicone against my skin at the very top of my thighs and then and running my hands over my slender legs to smooth out the fabric. I could not resist standing in front of the mirror to admire my body adorned in this underwear in which I was so unused to seeing myself. I imagined standing in front of David like this and how he might react. It made me feel so feminine and sexy.
I then put on a knee-length ruffle skirt so my stockings would look like ordinary pantyhose to anyone seeing me outside, and a blouse that I knew looked good on me without a bra. I applied a little makeup, arranged my hair, carefully checked myself front and back in the mirror and then quietly crept out of my room
xXx
I arrived at David’s room and knocked on the door. I immediately heard footsteps and only a few moments later he opened the door. Without saying anything I quickly stepped in and closed the door behind me. He was dressed very casually in grey sweatpants and a t-shirt and made a very nice comment about how nicely I was dressed. He seemed nervous, as if he had been over thinking what had happened yesterday and didn’t quite know what to say, but I did.
“I know this is our last night together and I don’t want to waste any time” I said “What happened last night was what I wanted to happen, and I still want it to happen”.
“I’m really not sure that this is what you should be doing” he said, without much conviction.
“Well, if you don’t want me then I should just go” I replied immediately.
The moment of hesitation after I said that was all the confirmation I needed. I turned the light off so the only light was the dim glow from a TV screen, stepped forward, put my arms around his waist and kissed him. He hesitated at first, but I think more out of surprise than reluctance, and then put his arms around me and began to passionately kiss me back.
After a minute or so I broke the kiss but maintained eye contact with him as I sank down to my knees in front of him. I switched my attention to unbuckling his belt and unfastening his trousers so I could pull them down together with his underwear to reveal his cock. He was already getting hard and he sprang out of his underwear as I pulled them down, sending a waft of his manly scent into my face. I allowed his cock to brush against my nose and cheeks before I took it in my hand and began caressing the tip with my lips and tongue, taking in the salty and sweaty taste of it. When I felt that he was hard enough, I put my hands on his bare ass and forced my mouth down onto his cock to take it as far down my throat as I could before gagging and twisting my head away. I wiped the huge ribbons of saliva from between my mouth and his cock.
“You must be uncomfortable down there” he said.
He was right. I had been so focussed on pleasuring him that I hadn’t realised that my knees were starting to hurt as the only thing between them and the rough carpet floor was the thin material of my stockings.
“shall we move to the bed?” he went on as he gestured over to the large double just a few feet behind me.
I didn’t say anything and just stood back up, unzipped my skirt and let it drop to the floor, and pulled my blouse over my head to reveal my body now dressed only in the stockings and tiny black lace panties that I had bought for him earlier. He just stood there and looked at me for a moment, his wide-open mouth gradually turning into an excited smile and his eyes going from wide open in surprise to serious and hungry with lust.
“I’m feeling a little underdressed over here” I said.
I slowly backed away from him and fell back onto the bed as he began undressing himself. Once he was completely naked he followed me to the bed and lay down on top of me, our lips immediately locking in a hard and passionate kiss as one of his hands gripped the hair at the back of my head and the other ran along my thigh and reached under me to grasp my ass. After a short while he moved down my body, kissing my neck and chest, sucking on my now erect nipples and then, as he reached my tummy, he hooked his fingers around my panties and slowly pulled them from around my hips and along my stockings and legs as he looked into my eyes with wicked intensity. He was kneeling on the floor now, his arms reaching around my thighs and resting on my tummy, his thumbs positioned on either side of my pussy and gently pulling my labia apart to expose my clit. He started slowly at first, his tongue teasing my pussy and licking up and down my slit before starting to tease and caress my clit and then locking his lips around it and start rhythmically and ever so gently sucking. I was in a world of pleasure.
“Come on” I said in a quivering and desperate voice after only a minute or so, “I want you inside me. I need you”.
He stood up and wiped his mouth. I could see his magnificent cock again now, still fully erect and shining with my saliva in the dim light. I shuffled back on the bed to make space for him to get on top of me and brought my knees up to my chest to present my glistening pussy to him. I lay completely naked except for my stockings, my body completely open to him and inviting him to enter me. I felt so vulnerable and yet entirely at ease. All I felt was the anticipation.
He lay down on top of me again, his weight pressing me into the bed. He propped himself up with his elbows on either side of my head, his face just inches from mine, making me feel safe in his embrace as he gently kissed me again. I could taste my pussy on his mouth and feel his hard, hot cock pressed against me. I reached down and took it gently in my hand, rubbed the tip up and down along my slit and then guided him to my entrance.
As he continued to kiss me, he slowly and gently pushed and I felt a sudden slip and let out a little gasp as the tip of his penis overcame the tightness at the entrance to my pussy and entered me. I continued to lay there, totally surrendering to him as I felt his bare penis pass deeper into my body with each slow and gentle thrust. The thrill of feeling another man inside me for the very first time after feeling so trapped in a world in which the only man I would ever be with was Devon was beyond description.
When he was all the way inside me, he stopped and held his penis there, looking into my eyes.
“are you alright?” he said.
I looked up at him but, not confident that I would be able to speak, I nodded at him and made a little noise that I hoped was a recognisable “uh huh”. This felt like the most intense moment of my life, nose-to-nose with a man who had been a complete stranger only a few days ago, us staring into each other’s eyes, feeling each other’s breath on our lips, each other’s heartbeats and the rise and fall of each other’s chests, but most of all us sharing this most forbidden pleasure as his bare cock was fully inside me, filling me and touching me in places that I knew Devon thought only he would ever touch me. Before he moved again, he kissed me long and deep and I let his tongue explore my mouth and gently tussle with the tip of my tongue. I found myself sucking slightly on his mouth, wanting even to take his saliva into my body.
While we were still locked in this kiss, he started moving his hips again, just grinding against my hips at first, and then starting to withdraw further and thrust back into me in longer and longer strokes. I wrapped my legs around him, my toes pointed and my heels resting on him at the bottom of his back. I started to move my hips in rhythm with his thrusts, feel the sensation of this man using his brute strength to take my body and use me for his pleasure, the excited grunts as he thrust into me proof of his appreciation for how I was making him feel.
Strangely I found myself thinking of Devon right now and how he would be asleep alone in our bed and no doubt convinced that I would be sleeping alone in the bed that currently lay cold and empty in my room. I was electrified by the thought of him lying there completely oblivious while I was here secretly making love intensely and passionately to another man, our hot and sweaty bodies writhing together as we kissed and he vigorously thrusted his bare cock into me, stretching and filling my pussy, the pussy that Devon seemed to think that he rather than I had the right to control. Devon would barely even recognise me at this moment; I was a different person. I knew that I was committing the worst possible violation of trust between myself and Devon but instead of feeling guilt I just felt exhilaration.
David sat up and grabbed both of my legs by the ankles and held them wide apart. He looked magnificent as his broad shoulders and manly arms were silhouetted against the dimly lit hotel room. I was gladly giving my body to him and was gratified by the pleasure I was so obviously able to give him. I told him how good he looked and how amazing his cock felt inside me. I wanted to make him to feel like a strong and powerful man taking what he deserved from me.
After a few more minutes I could feel David’s body start to tense and his rhythm getting faster. He looked down at me and asked me where I wanted it. I said that I wanted it inside me and I stopped for a moment.
“I don’t think I would be comfortable with that” he said.
We looked at each other for a few seconds, sweaty and breathless. I told him that I was on birth control and that he didn’t need to worry, but this was not the time for rationality so I followed up by telling him that what I really wanted was to be a naughty girl while I was away from home.
“Don’t you want to make me your naughty little slut?” I said.
Those words felt strange coming out of my mouth. I don’t think I had ever referred to myself as a slut out loud before.Whatever doubts he had been having seemed to disappear and he carried on taking me just as enthusiastically as before. I could sense his orgasm approaching and I started to grasp for some part of his body to hold onto. I could barely hold onto my excitement as years of fantasies were about to be fulfilled. I was about to finally give in to the animalistic urge to make another man cum and to take his seed inside me, for him to claim my body and for me to surrender it to him completely just for one night, but most of all for me to wipe out that idiotic idea of Devon’s that him being my only ever sexual partner was somehow meaningful.
David gave one last deep thrust, held his penis inside me and let out a long and satisfied moan. I began to feel the strong contractions of his penis as he started to inseminate me and I completely lost control. There was a sudden rush of pleasure like a series of crashing waves emanating from my loins and travelling down though my legs and up into my chest. I didn’t know what I was doing, whether I was completely silent or screaming with ecstasy, I was simply in a universe of pleasure.
The next thing I remember, he was lying on top of me, both of us sweaty and panting to get our breaths back. I could finally feel the sense of validation that my body was capable of having this effect on another man. Eventually as David started to soften he slipped out and we giggled as he rolled off me and a trickle of fluid came out of me. We lay next to each other and began caressing each other’s bodies and talking to each other about I don’t even remember what.
I was still excited so in a lull in the conversation a few minutes later I took his penis in my mouth again, tasting the combination of myself and his semen on him. I gently started to suck as I felt him expand in my mouth and he gave me his gasps and moans of encouragement. When he was hard enough, I straddled him and carefully guided him into me as I slowly lowering myself down onto him. I leaned back, putting my arms up and tilting my head back, playing with my mass of dark curly hair behind my head and enjoying watching him admiring my body as I bounced up and down on his cock, feeling his hands play with my breasts and nipples and grasp my hips. I leaned forward, putting my hands on either side of his body and looking deep into his eyes as my hair spilled down over my head and moved in waves as I continued to bounce back and forth. At times he took control, grabbing hold of my hips and bucking underneath me, making me feel his strength, and then I would take control, grinding down on him hard and feeling the tip of his cock touching me deep inside.
As he said he was going to cum again, I ground my hips down onto him as hard as I could, taking him as deep into me as possible. He gripped my hips hard with both hands and looked up at me. I felt every contraction of his orgasm this time, filling me from deep within. As I could feel him cum, I looked down at this strong and self-assured man as he spasmed and gasped out of control. This is the power of my body! This is what I am capable of doing to a man! I felt like a wicked sex goddess and it felt amazing!
Afterwards I curled up next to him, my head on his chest listening to his heart beat gradually slow down, his arm around me, caressing my back and playing with my hair. It was remarkable the sense of peace and stillness that I felt now after spending almost the last hour having vigorous and passionate sex with this man. I felt such a deep sense of emotional connection with him after sharing such an intensely intimate experience, us giving each other so much pleasure and me accepting his semen into my body and knowing that I would still be carrying this part of him around inside me after I left. Eventually, exhausted and completely satisfied, I fell asleep.
xXx
I awoke gradually as the first signs of daylight hit the closed curtains of David’s room. I reluctantly lifted my head from David’s chest and looked over at the clock. It was almost 6am! I sat up with a start.
“Oh my god, I need to go!” I said.
I jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on my skirt and blouse, completely forgetting my black lace panties still on the floor where David had thrown them last night. David stayed in the bed barely even awake and I leant over to kiss him one last time, regretting that I could not take more time to say goodbye after feeling so close to him. I closed the door to David’s room behind me quietly and crept back along the corridor. Drips of David’s cum were still oozing out of me and running down the inside of my thighs and I was terrified of someone from the course already being up and expecting me to stop and chat with them while this was happening.
I quickly got back to my room, climbed onto my bed and suddenly and unexpectedly burst into tears. It was not because I felt any shame, guilt or fear about being found out. I was just overcome with emotion. I felt very much like things had changed irreversibly. Now the dam that was holding back all of my repressed desires had burst I knew I would never be the same again. The old me had gone forever and I was saying a sorrowful goodbye to her.
It took me a little while to pull myself together before I could go into the bathroom and get undressed, peeling off my stockings that were slightly stuck to my inner thigh by the partly dried mixture of David’s semen and my wetness that had run down my legs. I threw them straight in the trash, not wanting to risk taking them home. I showered thoroughly, washing my hair and taking the time to scrub every inch of myself, not wanting any trace of what I had done to remain on my body (at least not on the outside). I then quickly dried my hair, got dressed, packed my things, checked out of the hotel and made a start on the long drive home.
As I approached home early that afternoon, I had a knot in my stomach. Although I knew that there was no way Devon could know what I had done the night before, I still could not shake the fear that he would still somehow be able to tell. However, when he opened the door to me and I saw how pleased he was to see me, my heart just melted and I felt a bust of relief and happiness. I suppose I knew that I would always resent him in some ways, but I knew at that moment as much as any other that I loved him more than anything else in the world and couldn’t imagine my life without him.
We settled back into home life and that evening we had sex. We both undressed separately and I lay naked on the bed as he climbed on top of me and took me in the missionary position for around ten minutes before me came. He then rolled off me and lay next to me while he massaged my clit until I came as well. Afterwards I went to the bathroom to pee and let the excess cum drip out of me before I put my panties back on with a folded tissue in the crotch and went back to bed. This was our sex routine that we had done two or three times a week for several years. The familiarity of this felt very comforting after the emotional rollercoaster I had been on over the past few days, but this was now combined with the secret thrill of thinking about Devon’s and David’s semen mixing together inside me, a reminder that the other me that I had awakened just the night before was still there.
A few days later I went out and bought a slim silver chain ankle bracelet and fastened it on my right ankle before I even left the shop. When I got home, I showed it off to David and said to him that I thought it really suited me and that I hoped he liked it. He had absolutely no idea what it meant to me but I was bursting with excitement at being able to flaunt this symbol of my unfaithfulness to him every day, a constant reminder of the new me hidden inside.
The next time we visited my parents, my mother noticed my ankle bracelet. She gave me a look and gestured towards it and I nodded with acknowledgement as Devon was distracted speaking to my father. She then discreetly gestured to Devon as if to ask whether he knew, and I smiled again and shook my head. Her eyes widened slightly and then she gave me a knowing and understanding smile before joining the conversation between Devon and my father. She never acknowledged it again. The whole exchange lasted only a few seconds and was completely wordless, yet in that moment the most intimate of secrets was shared between a mother and a daughter, all with Devon sitting right beside me.