I'm generally not one to write about stuff like this, but considering how utterly depraved it was I thought you guys might like it. This literally just happened in the last four hours, so I want to get it all out while it's fresh. I apologize if it's too long or needlessly detailed in certain parts, but it's just kind of an unedited brain dump.
I don't have a full-time job. I do a lot of contract work from home, often at anti-social hours. Whenever I want to take a break, I get in my car and drive to a nearby gas station for a snack, just to get out of the house. Tonight I threw on a dumpy sweatshirt and baseball cap before leaving. That, in addition to the fact that I'm a pretty big guy (6'5", 250 lbs.) with a tidy beard probably made me look a little intimidating. That (or at least my mindset around how I look) is important later.
I popped out shortly after 11pm and drove to a convenience store on the edge of my small town. It's a well-lit gas station near a highway, but aside from an occasional passing truck, there was almost no one out this evening.