So my friend and I had been going through really long dry spells either through COVID shielding or lack of efforts on our parts.
We recently went for a night out with a few friends and it ended with her bringing myself and a few others back to her place. Now the entire night she’d complained how she hadn’t gotten any in forever and she had finally settled on a guy she planned to use to rectify this situation and had been sneaking off to kiss him when she thought no one was looking. However, he decided to leave with the rest of the group early even though she wanted him to stay. (If this ever happens to you, do not do what she did)
Because I live far away from her, when we go out, I’ll usually arrange to crash in her spare room. So after he left I was teasing her about the dry spell continuing and said that if she was so desperate she may as well invite him back. So she starts laying it on thick saying that he forgot his wallet so he needed to come back to collect. Friends, this lad was an idiot and did not pick up on any of her hints. I found this thoroughly hilarious but eventually decided to go to bed. Eventually, it turns out, she straight up told him to come back so that they could have sex.