Since my last post, I’ve gotten a few PMs and questions about my philosophy about how to be dominant. So much so that I’ve repeated this story privately a few times and I think I might as well share it here. Now to some of the super pros out there, this might all seem very amateur, so if you have criticisms, then please I'm all ears.
The story in question relates to the first time that I actually felt like I successfully dominated my ex. This was at the onset of our relationship, where we were both still discovering our limits. At this point I knew she had a submissive nature, and the inner dom in me was rising, so I started planning our first real, sub dom night.
One of the things I chose to do is to not use any toys, straps, equipment, chains or whatever. I believe if I can’t dominate her just as I am just with my words and my actions, I don’t deserve to. Toys and accessories, in my opinion, should not be aids but enhancements. One needs to earn the right to use them, not use them as a crutch. If you can’t control her without such things, eventually, you’ll misuse them and lose your control. (this might all be bullshit but it makes sense to me in my head).