Author: Linguist37

[MF] I met a girl from Switzerland and she wanted to “know what freedom tastes like”

No, really, she actually said that. Let me explain… (also I like writing and this is kinda long, skip ahead to where the sexy stuff starts if you’re so inclined)

I have a friend, Annie. She’s amazing. We’re very close friends. I’ve been to her house for Thanksgiving a few times, helped film her sister’s wedding, etc. But there’s no romance there. However, she does make an excellent wingwoman and an even better drinking buddy. This week, she had a friend visiting DC from Switzerland, and the friend ‘wanted to make out with an American man’ for the first time. Mara had been to the States before, but always while in a relationship, so never had the opportunity. Annie enlisted me, not necessarily to be that American man, but to at least join them on a bar crawl and have a blast. And so we did. Read more »

Some Wedding Drama Helped Me Fuck a Bridesmaid [mf]

I was *supposed* to be the best man. Speech prepared and everything. But a couple weeks beforehand, the mentally unstable maid of honor lost her shit at the bride and had a messy friend break up. So instead of just replacing her, the bride decided to go for symmetry and replace *both* of us, having the groom’s brother and bride’s sister be best man and maid of honor, respectively. My ego was bruised, but the groom explained what had happened, along with like a dozen other things that went wrong, so I decided it was inappropriate to push things just so I could feel important (I did get to hold the rings tho).

Because of the reshuffling, I got paired up with Beth, the bride’s cousin. 5’1, maybe 110, wavy black hair, and glasses that frame her face so well that she’d probably give you a glasses fetish if you didn’t already have one. While I thought she had just an average body, I would be proven very wrong once I saw her at the wedding. She had just graduated college, so I was about a decade her senior. We met at the rehearsal, two days before the wedding, and were friendly towards each other. I knew she was partnered, and I had no plans to be *that guy* and add more drama to things. Read more »

My First Experience with Feeld– she came on my cock within 24hours of matching with each other [mf]

Oops-all-smut section is marked below…

I had used Feeld several years ago, back when it was Tinder for threesomes. It didn’t seem effective– at least, not nearly effective as reddit– so I deleted it after a week or so. I recently learned that Feeld had grown in popularity, and was geared more towards non-traditional arrangements in general– kink, ethical non-monogamy, etc. I downloaded it again, and slogged my way through yet another dating profile, albeit one that prominently references oral sex and the word Daddy.

It was late on Saturday night when I got a match that struck up conversation immediately– Dee. Her bio described her as fully vaccinated (which I also am), into massages and cuddling (which I also am), and having a pierced nose, which I do not but am very into. The pictures confirmed said piercing, and also told me she had a gorgeous smile and lovely brown eyes.

She struck up conversation immediately and we chatted non-stop for the better part of two hours, although by the end it felt like we had been talking for several days– in a good way. We hit it off incredibly well and discussed some of our more salacious interests, about which we were very much on the same page. We made plans for a park date the very next evening. Read more »

[MF] The Taming of the Shrew — My Last Date Before the Pandemic

As we come up on a year in captivity, I’ve been reminiscing about the last time I went to a bar. Forgive my meanderings, but this story will likely contain random moments I fondly recall as well as reflections I only realize the import of in retrospect. I promise you, however, you’ll get your smut…

** Content warning– some consentual noncon; explicit namecalling and language **

It was for a tinder date, of course, a first date. She had a bit on her bio about how she’d be taking bunker applications, and of course, I went to the fruitful well of my yoga teacher certification. We talked about how useful it would be to have a private instructor during quarantine (before that word had the meaning it does now), and while our messaging got a little salacious, we decided to meet at a bar first.

It was a year ago this Friday, before masks were commonplace but the looming threat was still on people’s minds and mouths. The rooftop bar accepted payment via app only; I remember thinking that was somewhat ominous. I walked there in a henley, a leather jacket, and jeans. Read more »

[mf] I got to be a lesbian’s first man

I met Jenny (not her real name) on tinder, that lovely, awful, godsend of a hellhole. She was 22, half Japanese and half Korean (she brought me some Korean bakery items– bless), around 5’2 and slender. She was pretty insecure about her appearance, but had no reason to be– she had a great figure and a really pretty face. Our conversation started out fairly sexual and we quickly made plans to watch Infinity War on netflix. The day of, we’re talking about sex (what we like, what we don’t, what we want, etc.) and she drops the bomb on me…

Not only has she only been with one other person, but that other person was a female. So I’d be her first guy. I’m floored by this, but immediately tone down the sexting and make sure she knows we can take things at her speed, that we don’t even have to get naked tonight if she doesn’t want to. She’s appreciative and tells me that she’s still interested in having a guy take control, interested in the ‘Daddy’ role, etc. The conversation eventually reaches a lull as she takes a nap and I go to yoga, then to the climbing gym. Read more »

[MF] My First Tinder Date Was a Girl With Self-Proclaimed Daddy Issues

I resisted the app for years, but I suck at meeting people in real life, so I finally downloaded it three years ago. And I was proud of the line I came up with to cap off my bio, “If you can’t handle me at my Andy Dwyer, you don’t deserve me at my Star Lord.”

That got me a few matches and conversations, and even a super like, from a girl named Mary. She was 22 (I was 29 at the time). This was back when you could link your instagram to your tinder, which led me to find a slew of her lovely pictures. She was the definition of thicc. Ample DD breasts, gorgeous thighs, and an ass that looked incredible in some of the hula hooping videos she posted. She also had long brown hair and these big, expressive brown eyes.

We traded some banter over Parks and Rec, and over one of the other bits from my bio– mentioned how I like to be called “Daddy”. She pointed out that it was bold to put something like that there, but to me, that was the point. No sense in beating around the bush– I figured I’d just present who I am and what I like. She called that attitude “Big Dick Energy”– my first introduction to the term and an assessment I was happy with. Read more »

[M]y Fellow Server [F] Took Molly and Booty Called Me

Ok so I enjoy writing and reminiscing and this sorta got away from me, so I’ll mark it to tell you when the good stuff starts…

Back in college, I worked as a waiter for a chili bar. The pay was only mildly better than the cashier job I had prior, but it was loads more fun. The bar was about a mile from a large university, so most of the waitstaff and the guests were college kids. It was a party atmosphere with lots of joking, all the waitresses dressed in tight clothing to get better tips, and tons of sexual innuendo thrown around.

There were drugs, too, of course. Mostly weed, which I used regularly at the time, but also coke, which I’ve still never tried. People would come to worked blazed or sell a dub in the parking lot; it was a great place to be if you smoked. And this one girl, Alison, did it all.

Alison was slightly taller than me and mixed race, with caramel skin and black hair. She was stacked, and would end up always getting good shifts because the manager was a horn dog and also, sex sells. Long legs always on display in either painted-on jeans or daisy dukes, and a tight tank top with our bar’s logo on it to show off her C cup breasts. Read more »

Adventures with Rose [F], the Amateur Opera Singer/Wine Salesperson I [M] Had the Pleasure of Knowing

Knowing as in *biblically*.

Rose and I had hooked up a few times, but this was easily the most fun we’d ever had.

Rose, a 26 year old, is 5’6, very skinny, with auburn hair, big brown eyes, A cups above a taut stomach, and a goofy grin that never fails to make me laugh. Also one of those lovely asses that isn’t *phat* but is round and perfectly grabbable. I’m 5’10, 155 lbs and athletic. Covered in tattoos and chest hair, olive skin, thick beard, and hazel eyes.

Like I said, we had been together a few times, and then I got busy with vacation, some live shows, and friends in town. We made plans to see each other again, but it wouldn’t be for another five days or something, so I wanted to make sure the excitement she exhibited in making the plans held until we actually met. I started sexting her. Not too lewd, too fast, but the broad kind of “I can’t wait to make you feel good,” “I’ve been thinking about those cute little moans you make,” that sort of thing. She’s not very kinky or experienced with anything other than vanilla sex, so I didn’t want to push it, but she seemed pretty receptive to this (brief side note related to her lack of experience in dirty talk– she told me that she once had a guy say “Roll Tide” as he was cumming, fucken lol what a chud). Read more »

I accidentally picked up a college girl in chipotle [MF]

Usually, the girls I see are ones I meet on tinder or reddit, but this is a big exception.

I go to chipotle on the way back from the gym quite a bit because it’s convenient, fast, and ‘healthy’ compared to other convenient and fast options. I started seeing this cute redhead there behind the register. Maybe 5’2, I’d be surprised if she was over 100 pounds. She has blue eyes, and this sort of smile that, no matter what she’s smiling about, makes you feel like you’re in on a naughty inside joke with her. So I began going a little more often just to run into her. On two separate occasions (like a month apart), she said, “I like your tattoos,” but I feel a little weird hitting on someone while they’re at work, so I said thanks and made some small talk before chowing down. Then this past March, I got the idea to, instead of ask for her number, to leave mine. I figure it’d be the least intrusive way to move things forward– no need to put her on the spot at work, I’d leave the ball entirely in her court and see if she’s interested that way. So that’s what I did, and the next day, I get a text. Read more »

I edged my friend for a week and she damn near lost her mind [mf]

[Last week, I wrote about how Lisa brought me to her DC rooftop and asked me for a favor](https://old.reddit.com/r/gonewildstories/comments/j8l50c/my_friend_brought_me_to_her_rooftop_overlooking/), and it earned me my first reddit award here, so that was pretty cool. I figured I’d follow up with the next time we saw each other, where things got a little kinkier.

Again, here are our physical descriptions– she’s Indian and 23 at the time, with a great tone of brown skin and big light brown eyes. Curly black hair, a thin figure with b-cups, maybe standing at 5’6 or so. Gorgeous smile, too. I was 29, 5’10 and athletic, covered in tattoos and body hair. Bearded, short black hair, and brown eyes. Read more »