Browsing r/sex, I see a lot of posts from women about not being able to orgasm and worrying it will never happen. That made me think about my own desperation to give myself my first orgasm.
It was 10 years ago, I was 19 and home from college for the summer. I was bored. I wasn’t dating anyone but had started mildly flirting with a guy I went to high school with. It hadn’t gone further than a brief makeout session at a friend’s house, but I was hopeful it would.
I was far from sexually experienced then. Kinda the quintessential “good girl” — straight A’s, captain of the volleyball team in high school, went to a good college. I dated in high school but the most daring I got was giving a blow job behind the school during a football game. My boyfriends back then gave me oral or fingered me, and I enjoyed it, but I was pretty sure I had never had an orgasm. I tried masturbating but no matter what I did, I never got that intense feeling or feeling of relief my friends talked about.