I was lying in bed recovering from one of the most physically taxing masturbation sessions of my entire life. My fellow Catholic girls can probably guess what happened next! I was tired now and the elation of sexting had whooshed off into the great unknown. Now on top of being embarrassed and ashamed I was totally wiped. I slept for another half hour, but Mark had texted me when I woke up. His message read:
“Want to grab a coffee” That seemed a little out of nowhere to me.
“Uh ok, like when” I texted him back. I reeeeally wanted some more info. Even today I don’t know if I was just too tired to ask or I’d it was the embarrassment.
“Now”
I put the phone down. The light headed feeling wasn’t gone, but his weird pivot had kind of killed the vibe. Every early 20s girl has the same fears. I thought my boobs were too small or I was too slutty, or maybe he was bored because I wasn’t actually any fun. Mark texted me a suggestion for a cafe near campus and I got dressed feeling way off. The bus ride wasn’t long. The whole way I was wondering why he was being so cold. Jake was another thing. No clue if he’d be there. The embarrassment was back. I wished I hadn’t told him he could share the pictures with Jake, or that I sent them at all. It felt like I was visiting the principal’s office. And I NEVER had to do that in school.