[f]elt up by a [m]annequin fetishist

This happened a year after moving to the city. Rent was high and my wage was low, so I cut corners where I could, AKA shoplifting. My forte was makeup and clothes (hey, I was 20). Honestly I’m surprised I didn’t end up in the obituaries, but imo a good story deserves to be told anyway.

So I’m almost out of the storefront of a (now-bankrupt) fast-fashion outlet, when a guy with a lanyard stops me and hands over a set of ankle socks that must have fallen out of my pocket when I grabbed my phone. He leaned in close and told me it was my choice: either he calls security OR I come by at closing for repayment. Honestly his smile and australian accent made it come across much friendlier than it sounds.

Maybe it was stupid but I took his offer, and handed over my phone as collateral. After spending a bus ride home and back in a cold sweat, I show up right as the staff were cashing out. The Aussie guy called out to his coworkers, reminding them that his niece (me??) was just here to wait for him.